This Page Does Exist
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
“Whoa. Does this...mean..the matrix is real too?”
“This page, does in fact, exist.”
“We don't have this page, like in your country. I don't know who told you that.”
“Oscar Wilde”
According to the structures and theorems of logic, this page does exist.
Mathematical Proof[edit]
| Explanation | Formula | Reason |
| We define existence to be the state of living | Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle Existence = living} | Definition of existence |
| All webpages take time to make, and money (internet access) | Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle webpages = time + money} | Postulated |
| The biological functions of life are to eat and reproduce | Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle Living = sex + food} | Meaning of Life postulate |
| Food requires money | Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle food = money} | No Free Lunch theorem |
| Reproduction takes time | Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle sex = time} | "I'm finally pregnant" theorem |
| Given food = money and sex = time, we substitute: | Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle living = money + time} | Substitution property of mathematics |
| Since webpage = time + money, and (shown above) so does living... | Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle webpages = living} | Substitution property of mathematics |
| We defined existence to equal living, therefore | Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle webpages = existence} | Transitive property of mathematics |
| This is a webpage | Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle ThisPage = webpage} | Definition of webpage |
| Thus... | Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle ThisPage = existence} | Transitive property of mathematics |
This proof brought to you by the Fuzzy Math Foundation of America.
Corollaries to the existence theorem[edit]
The mathematical equations above have profound meaning.
Firstly, if
- Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle living = money * time}
and
- Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle time = money}
then
- Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle living = money^2}
So.. If
- Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle Money = \sqrt {Evil}}
then, transitively,
- Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle living = evil}
Furthermore, if
- Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle You = living}
and
- Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle ThisPage = living}
then
- Failed to parse (MathML with SVG or PNG fallback (recommended for modern browsers and accessibility tools): Invalid response ("Math extension cannot connect to Restbase.") from server "https://en.wikipedia.org/api/rest_v1/":): {\displaystyle ThisPage = You}
It may be wise to keep this in mind before vandalizing this page, because, in order to balance the equation, we will have to vandalize your face.
Impact on humanity[edit]
The impact of this page's mathematical existence is profound. For instance, as long as this page exists, due to corollary #2 of the existence theorem, so do you. Ordinarily, this is reason enough to destroy this page as soon as possible, but, unfortunately, due to the inevitable paradoxical state in which this page, mathematically proven to exist, would no longer exist, the Universe would a splode. Thus, we are forced to deal with you.