The Shredder
“Ow! DEAR GOD HEEEEELLLLLPPPP!”
“Shredder, you ninny!”
“These Turtles...”
Born in sweeeet home Ala-BAM-uh!, Japan, Tom Clancy and somebody else...we're not really quite sure....actually we know absoulutely nuttin' (what war is good fo!). The Shredder was one of the leaders of Shredding and spends his time shredding paper and shredding on his guitar. He enjoys wearing fuzzy slippers and taking long walks on the beach.
The Oroku Saki Expierence[edit]
Later in his life, Shredder formed a band with hip-hop sensation MC Krang and his two idiots Bebop and Rocksteady. The band was most radical and also tubular to the extreme, but it later became funkadelic because the band warped from the 80s all the way back to the 60s. The band was killed in bowling alley shoot-out, but got back up and kicked the crap outta the shooters cause THEY'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT! NO! THEY'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT! THEY'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT.....ANYMORE! The band still performs. Here is a short list of their best songs ever:
- I'm Gonna Crap On Your Shoes
- What's Your Problem?
- I'll Shred Yer Frickin' Eyes Out
- The Dimension X Blues
- I'm Dreaming Of A Red (with blood) Christmas
- Pimp My Evil Fortress
- I'm Gonna Crap On Your Shoes Part II (I've Done It Once And I'll Do It Again!)
- Crap Factory
- Illegal Puppy-Kicking
- Why I Think Leonard Nimoy's Cool
The Technodrome[edit]
The Technodrome is the band's roaming house which has feet on the side that'll kick you in the nuts. It kills stuff and is awesome. It also kills stuff. Besides that it kills things. It kills bears too. It kills dogs. Did I mention it kills stuff?
Shredding Up The Literature World[edit]
The Shredder is also an accomplished novelist and writer of how-to books. Critics absolutely love his work and eat from his toilet for the sake of poetic irony. Many call the books "good", "decent" or "swell" and some would even go as far as to call them "mediocre." Here is a short list of some of his Shredtastic books:
- The Shred Of The Krangs
- Shredding For Dummies
- Shredragon
- Shreddy Pothead and The Sorcerer's Stash
- Shreddy Pothead and The Chamber Of Pot
- Shreddy Pothead was a Prisioner In Askaban
- Shreddy Pothead and The Joint On Fire
- Shreddy Pothead and The Order Of The Pot
- Shreddy Pothead and The Half-Baked Prince
- Shreddy Pothead and The Deadly Dope
- The Hitchhiker's Guide To Shredding
- War and Shred
- The Shred
Film Career[edit]
The Shredder has written, directed and starred in only one movie, known as "The Shredder Shreds Back!" It is the best movie ever! The plot revolves around how Shredder shredded and had high-action, unrealistic Kung Fu battles with government operatives that were born with the inability to shred (called the Un-Shreds). The movie provides a very true and realistic view of Shredder's life and is considered to awesome that Mr.T gave it an award, saying "I pity myself for not bein' able to Shred like that guy!"
The Shredder also has shown an interest in being Bad-Ass:The Movie 2:The One That Comes After The First, as well as the destruction of various trailer parks that just piss him off.