The Great One
“ I have no quotes *sad face* ”
On the seventh day he said: "Get me a freakin' cheese grater" and he got a freakin' cheese grater. Some are most familiar with "The Book of Doctor Who", others are more familiar with his project to bring back the dinosaurs and start a 24/7 dinosaur strip club. His real name is unknown to most although some call him David Tennant. He is well known for having beady little eyes, magnified by his thick rimmed glasses, which are SHRN. The gender of the Great One is currently unknown, although most refer to the Great One as a male, because some people are sexist like that.
The Plight of BCJ[edit]
Many may know of the Great One from the popular album "The Goblet of Fire" by the band known as Harry Potter. The Great One adopted the name "Barty Crouch Junior," and became obsessed with Lord Voldemort. Lord Voldemort took this to his advantage, and used the Great One to send Green Lights into the sky. In return, Voldemort made out with the Great One on numerous occasions. The Great One, wanting to get out of the spotlight, decided to hide inside Mad-Eye Moody for a year. It has been rumoured that during this time, Voldemort was having an affair with Petite Pettegrew. He was not as "big" as the Great One, yet Voldemort preferred the rat-like characteristics. Voldemort and the Great One had to end their relationship after some freak sucked some stuff out of the Great One, making him unable to function as well as before. However, he has recently acquired a strap-on dildo, with advanced water squirt functions™.
Blackpool[edit]
Hey don't be racist you pom. Thats right - the Great One grew up in England's equivalent to Harlem, drinking, sleeping and impregnating dogs. life was good. Until the Nazis came and crushed a young boy's hopes and dreams.
The Ten Commandments[edit]
1. Thou shalt not be/do Revilo.
2. Thou shalt not be "small".
3. Thou shalt get a bargain.
4. Thou shalt also get a money back guarantee.
5. Thou shalt not lie about the Great One, unless talking to someone hot, in which case give them the Great One's number.
6. Thou shalt not make up random commandments.
7. Thou shalt not blink too often.
8. Thou shalt quote the Great One.
9. Thou shalt eat the tenth commandment.
10. *is eaten*
Transformers[edit]
The Great One was recently turned down for an audition for a film called Transformers. Apparently, his clothes were not transexual enough, so he was turned down for the part. He has, however, taken on some similar characteristics. He can now take the form of either a molesting robot, or a creepy car that runs over old people. Onlookers have described his transforming behaviour as being "well dry" or "gangsta".
Death[edit]
The great one has died at least ten times, mainly via STDs or radiation poisoning from those damn microwaves. He hasn't completely disappeared though, as he is a descendant of a mutant cat, which is why he has unlimtited lives. Even if he loses and gets a game over, his sonic "screw" driver enables him to access a cheat (Ctrl+Enter+C). This enables him to return to level he was previously at. It also gets him 3 places ahead in the running for the "Person who has done the most people" award. Some say this is cheating, TGO says cheating is his middle name (don't listen to him his real middle name is Alfred.) Pretty much what I'm trying to say though is that he can't die unless the moderators catch him cheating in which case he's pretty much screwed. Joseph and Josh edited this page.
Casanova[edit]
The Great One has been in a cereal ad for "Casanova" (a children's cereal which is really a copy of cornflakes, but everyone is too stoopid to realise it). The Great One invented the cereal himself, which is probably why it has been an off the shelf top-seller, with about three copies being sold in only the past 2 years. The Great One's advertisement manipulates young children into buying the cereal as a miraculous stroke of lust, probably brought on because the Great One reminds them of their hot parents. Casanova was recently taken off the shelf when one child remarked "Hey mum I got a special balloon in mine" that child was later taken to hospital with Syphilis. To this the Great One said "Oh come on I'm going for the world record of doing the most people, he was gonna get Syphilis anyway."
Religion[edit]
That's right, TGOlogy is in fact, a religion. In the TARDIS, TGOlogers study the "doings" of the Great One, and aspire to be like him in every way. Whips are used to encourage children, and also double as kinky sex toys for the teachers. In many cases, the TGOlogers get a "special gift" from The Great One himself. This sense of enlightenment is also referred to as being "touched" by an angel. ARGH!