The Battle Bus

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In the 1960's, Billie Whitelaw's government had a special Battle Bus made, as a celebration of the end of World War III.

The Battle Bus is an exact copy of the cabinet room from 10 Downing Street, which is used by the British Government in times of war, crisis or election, to take the most influential and important politicians on the road, to minimise the risk of their deaths.

The appearance of the Battle Bus is unknown, for security reasons.

The bus itself bristles with high-tech equipment, and internally is indistinguishable from the room in Downing Street, where the cabinet usually meets. Just picture the White House Situation Room from the TV series "West Wing" and you'll have it. This attempt at continuity assists the cabinet in difficult times.

Often during these same difficult times Winston Churchill and Queen Elizabeth liked to take road trips to the Lake District in the Battle Bus. They could travel anonymously watching the teeming masses from the comfort of the upper deck while enjoying a few pints of gin and tonic.

The Parody[edit]

The American television series Star Trek: The Next Generation parodied The Battle Bus with a second bridge in The Enterprise contained in the engine section of the ship. In times of crisis, the fictional ship separated its saucer section from the engines, and the crew who were best at fighting withdrew to The Battle Bridge.

Needless to say, when episodes containing this satire were aired in Britain in the early 1990's, the then Prime Minister of Britain, Charles Kennedy, angrily instigated a ban on the export of Marmite to America. No-one noticed. Ten years later, this ban was lifted. No-one noticed.