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Advertising

• Article feature date: 6 June 2019
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06 June 2019

Advertising is fundamental to capitalism, because the Free Enterprise System produces a cornucopia of products, which the existence of advertising suggests that no one wants to buy based on what he knows about the product. The function of advertising is to provide information he does not know — that is, false information — to induce him to buy products he does not want.

Advertising was invented in America. Advertising shows us that Americans were uniquely in need of commercial products. Alone in the world, United States residents—

• Wore wrinkly clothing, with stains that just wouldn't come out, and other intractable problems such as Ring Around the Collar.
• Suffered from debilitating though rococo diseases, including dandruff, the Five O'Clock Shadow, and the Heartbreak of Psoriasis.
• Lived in primitive housing with serious risks, such as indelible Bathtub Rings.
• Were notoriously inept at sex, requiring a variety of patent medicines just to maintain an erection.

These problems threatened lives, the propagation of the species, and thus the survival of the nation. Moreover, consumers often were unaware that they suffered from these problems until the advent of advertising.

Even after rectifying the serious threats to their lives and health, Americans discovered they had utterly no notion of their own identity. Thus, a follow-on function of advertising was to tell the consumer what buying a given car or drinking a given beer said about him. Now, one could plan to become a Macho He-Man or a beauty queen, simply by buying the right products. The consumer can be whoever he wants, at least until the money runs out. (more...)