Teens-4-Christ

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Don't impersonate the Jee Man, kids. It makes him sad.

Teens-4-Christ (IPA /ʃɪt/ Audio (U.S)) is a monolingual, forum-based project operated by Christians, for Christians. The web forums are run by Randy Ross, who is the leader of a cult which worships Raptor Jesus. However, Raptor Jesus does not answer their prayers because they don't like gays.

History[edit]

In the beginning, the Earth was without form, and void. Then Randy Ross said, Let there be forums. And there were forums.

Randy was inspired to create the Teens-4-Christ forum after what he believed to be a vision from God. This was in fact a delusion triggered by a severely traumatic incident from one of his previous lives.

Afterwards, He created some ground rules. These would be known as the Ten Commandments. Randy Ross follows ALL of these. This is the reason he is respected in the community, and hated everywhere else.

Now, 6000 years on, Randy Ross is still with us, making the world a worse better place.

The Ten Commandments[edit]

Obey the Ten Commandments. Or else.
1. Thou shalt not have the name of the Lord in thy name. Or thy maketh Raptor Jesus sad.
2. Thou must be under 18. If thou art over 18 thou cannot be paedo'd.
3. Thou art subject to the will of Raptor Jesus. This forum is owned and operated by Raptor Jesus. Any message that thou posteth on this forum becometh the intellectual property of Raptor Jesus and may be used as Raptor Jesus seeth fit.
4. Thou art merely privileged to participate on this forum. Raptor Jesus may delete thy account for any reason. Or no reason at all.
5. Thou art responsible for checking thy commandments. Raptor Jesus changes them randomly.
6. Thou shalt not solicit. Only Raptor Jesus is allowed to paedophile.
7. Thou shalt not perform copypastas. Copypastas are the mark of /b/.
8. Thou shalt not support any other Jesii.
9. Thou shalt not promote worldly media.
10. Thou shalt not post links without checking with Raptor Jesus. It may be is pr0n.
11. Thou shalt not post pictures without telling Raptor Jesus. Raptor Jesus wants the pr0n for himself.
12. Thou shalt conform to the appearance of evil. Anyone may be watching. Especially Raptor Jesus.
13. Thou shalt only use the words of Raptor Jesus when posting Scripture. Thou shalt not quote Oscar Wilde.
14. Raptor Jesus is always right.
15. THOU SHALT NOT POST IN CAPS LOCK
16. Thou shalt treat each member with respect. Or thou shalt be told to fuck off.
17. Thou shalt not debate. Or we will call you gay.
18. Thou shalt love one another. And Raptor Jesus. Especially Raptor Jesus.
19. Thou shalt let the words of your mouth and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable unto Randy Ross. This means that thy message must be racist and homophobic. If thy message is not racist and homophobic thou shalt be sent to Hell.
20. There are ten commandments. See Commandment 14.
21. Raptor Jesus is Raptor Jesus.

Enemies[edit]

Over the years Teens-4-Christ has garnered a large amount of enemies. Most of them are oblivious to the existence of T4C itself. They include:

Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=Teens-4-Christ&oldid=5578576"