Talk:Suicide

This is the talk page for discussing improvements to the Suicide article. This is not a forum for general discussion about what you did last night. We have the Village Dump for things like that. For a listing of unused images related to this topic, please see the image subpage.
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Snip

• Slashing wrists (Remember kids: Go down the road, not across the tracks)

this is not funny --mc —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 67.68.123.2 (talk • contribs)

If it wasn't for a (wrongful!) QVFD, I would never have noticed that pearl of a line was removed... RE-ADDED!!! :D Oh, and one must NEVER blank. Especially not a talk page of an article... Helps us remember what was already discussed and such... --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ign^STFU F@H|CM|+S 17:20, 20 April 2006 (UTC)

Sorry, it will never happen again.--Jtaylor1 22:13, 20 April 2006 (UTC)

You people are sick why would you say that, it is the worst thing ever when someone thinks that they need to end there life dumb ass's like you are the ones who makes them do it so next time you wanna make fun of someone. plz think about that ! —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 68.146.37.140 (talk • contribs)

Suicidal people tend not to look up articles about suicide on fake encyclopedias, to the best of my knowledge. Rather, they have a tendency of using Wikipedia. -- The fatgoat Talk (to me, obviously) The Crap I've Done 07:01, 17 June 2007 (UTC)

Hey, as liberal supporters of our great new president, we have a civic obligation to help look for ways by which somebody else can lower the unemployment rate for us.

Besides, most suicidal fuckheads are thinking that they'll just write a little letter, off themselves, and the rest of us will set around crying, oh why oh why didn't we listen to poor Emo when we had the chance? Maybe if somebody breaks to them the cold, hard truth that we're not even going to bother laughing at them if they don't do something original enough to win a Darwin Award, they'll realize that their little suicide gesture is going unheard. Depressing? Fuck yeah. But hell, most of us are too depressed to commit suicide - the rest live some kind of perfect lives and then one day they do it and people can't figure out why. Wnt 05:35, 9 February 2009 (UTC)

Nut Sacks

Quote: "Glue your hand to your nuts [Boobs for girls] Ask a truck driver to tie a rope around your hand and have him drive off. You will die without your nuts from bleeding to death, but it'll provide a laugh. Extra points at your daughter's sweet 16."

Reaction: Holy shit this is stupid!

Score: 6/10 or 600/1000 It ani't all bullshit, some laughs in there.

Improvements/Advice: Go kill yourself using one of the methods stated in the article.

Thoughts To Self: Being black is hard work my friends.

Thoughts To Others: I LOATHE ZIGGY, EMO'S,AND THE TELETUBIES!!! —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 209.247.22.2 (talk • contribs)

lolz, "Nut Sacks" --Fudge Tunnel 00:59, 26 August 2007 (UTC)

Poll: is suicide painless?

Try it out and respond here. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Myocardialinfarction (talk • contribs)

ow —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 76.219.227.133 (talk • contribs)

No, for people who are suicidal or for people who know people who are suicidal, please Call this, 1-800-273-8255. Dellorfanaccount (im not abusing any accounts, i got locked out of my other one) (talk) 15:42, 29 July 2021 (UTC)

A pikture

A picture that might be used (but not sure how to fit it in there) -->
--I like pie mmm (^{Spam me/Spam doesn't taste as good as pie})

X Block

The universe is thanking you. What, are you not administrator? Then you must DIE. And this will remain, indefinetely, on the screen, taunting you, until you die ^{And/or leave}.

04:42, 20 July 2009 (UTC)

Template?

The article has the {{SeeTalk}} template on it, but I can't seem to figure out which section of this talk page that is supposed to refer to. --Pentium5dot1 t~^_^~c 00:13, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

The idea is to refer would be article protesters who would otherwise insert their actual (nonhumorous) opinions on suicide into the article to the talk page instead, which is where such opinions belong. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 06:54, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

Nigger

Didn't there used to be a really detailed Howto on this site about suicide? I wanted to use it to talk people into suicide pacts which I will ditch out on but the howto kill yourself talks about silly things like Piano Wire Hanging etc —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 94.14.168.103 (talk • contribs)

?

Is the header really needed? -- UserTalkContributions 16:37, April 26, 2012 (UTC)

Hilarious article, guys!

I just wanted to take my time to say that i found this article very funny. Uncyclopedia just doesn't get much funnier than:

Suicide is illegal in most countries. People have recently been arguing for the death penalty as the punishment for commiting suicide. Other crimes, however, have less severe penalities. In Arkansas, Colorado, Northern Virginia, and East and West Dakota suicide is a felony punishable up to five years of prison and/or a fine of $4.50. It is a major industry in countries like Switzerland, Euthanasia and Lithuania. The Swedish have come up with the most severe punishment for attempted suicide: treatment for depression. Suicide is one of the most popular forms of recreation in many Middle Eastern countries and as such the public predominately views suicide as the act of exploding oneself into tiny pieces while in a crowded area. In Soviet Russia gun shoots you, making "accidental" suicide happen often, so no one is ever charged with it.

I have not even finished reading the article, in fact, I just finished "Legal status," but that's how funny it is. Great job, guys! --72.230.135.196 20:11, August 31, 2012 (UTC)

this article is pretty much the rudest thing ive read in a long time, its not funny and its not cool. Its disgusting how you're making fun of this -tg —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 82.7.88.121 (talk • contribs)

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

You guys are fucking sick. Why would you joke about suicide? It's not a laughing matter at all. You guys wouldn't make fun of me if I committed suicide, would you? No. Delete this article, please! --68.103.31.159 21:28, June 14, 2014 (UTC)

If we don't, someone else will. Besides, it is a topic even covered by Wikipedia, which we are a parody of. If you think the article merits deletion, register, get a username, stick around a few days, then nominate the article on VFD. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 01:25, November 11, 2014 (UTC)

Here is an illustration for the serious about this subject. Simsilikesims (talk) 20:07, August 22, 2015 (UTC)

Warning?

Should we add a warning at the top of the page? Or like, link to the NSPH (national suicide prevention hotline) or something? I understand that uncyclopedia is supposed to be joke-y and funny and all, but I don't know how I feel about there being a page on suicide. The least we could do is add a warning saying "yo don't commit suicide". Ik most considering suicide go to wikipedia, but you never know. EarthlingnAkumi@still super tired (talk) 21:16, May 31, 2018 (UTC)

nvm idiot me didn't read the warning under the pic OTL sorry y'all

EarthlingnAkumi@still super tired (talk) 21:18, May 31, 2018 (UTC)

Pls can someone please add the suicide prevention number please

1-800-273-8255 Dellorfanaccount (im not abusing any accounts, i got locked out of my other one) (talk) 15:40, 29 July 2021 (UTC)