TEFL
“What a marvellous idea...putting all of the world's paedophiles together in one industry”
“Mmm...I...like...the holes of its...bottom...Is you?”
“I did it”
“What is wrong with these people!?”
TEFL or Terrifying Europeans with Foreign Lingo, is a made-up industry primarily concerned with the pacification of mature over-sexed singles and the misleading of hopeful parents.
The history of TEFL[edit]
The TEFL industry is most prominent in the nations of China, Thailand, Spain, Brazil, Marks and Spencers, Newcastle, Bruce Forsythe and Atlantis. Sean Bean was said to be responsible for the industry's initial rise but, much like his career, its origins are now shrouded in mystery.
What we do know is that Eskimos first practiced TEFL in the British Isles in 1879 where English gradually came to replace German, Celtish and underpants as the first language. It was taken on wholeheartedly by Queen Victoria but less so by the Royal Consort, Prince Albert, who continued to use German until repeatedly raped to death by his frustrated English tutor. Fortunately, Prince Albert recovered from this incident and now leads a peacefully Germanic life in Stonehenge.
TEFL today[edit]
As a result of TEFLs influence, most of the world now speaks English... extremely poorly. The only place where it still remains to be spoken with any level of aptitude is upon a Somalian oil rig in the strait of Hormuz. Even in Great Britain itself there are areas where the English language is only spoken remedially; namely England, Scotland, and Wales. The exceptions are Wookie Hole and the HMS Victory.
Controversy[edit]
Lee King Twot, China's minister for whatever happens to take his fancy that particular day, has criticized the TEFL world claiming that it does nothing for students' English speaking skills and just creates jobs for life's natural losers. Gerry Adams, spokesman for the TEFL world council, responded with the cutting riposte: "Well... that's the whole point isn't it? I mean, do we really want those freaks over here?"