Starlogo TNG
“Heh heh, the blocks grab onto each other to DO something.”
“I haven't had this much fun since I played twister with that hooker!”
“...”
“I can lift a car with my right arm!!!”
Starlogo TNG is essentially a programming language that teaches kids the fundamentals with block based programming. The blocks are colored as to make it easier for normal kids to program and make it harder for the color blind kids. The most puzzling thing about Starlogo TNG is the random collection of shapes your agents can be. Because of this you can have Krusty, Spheres, and cats (aka pussies) , all in one package. When using Starlogo the environment you work with is called Spaceland. Spaceland sometimes becomes Starlogo's adaptation to Microsoft's hit game the Blue Screen of Death, but makes it more kid friendly. At random times during the minimizing of the Spaceland window, Spaceland will be jumble of whatever you move it over. This hasn't been as much a success as the original Blue Screen of Death, but still finds its way into the time of kids that use TNG on a windows computer. Unfortunately, the Apple version does not include the Blue Screen of Death adaptation like the Windows version. Because of this Starlogo TNG is usually run on Windows computers due to the entertainment value.
The History of Starlogo TNG and One Turtles Dream[edit]
In Starlogo TNG things called "agents" interact and make the simulation. Because the main agent is a turtle, Starlogo TNG runs very slowly (also, that turtle was your moms agent when she was looking for a spot in a porn shoot. Eventually, your mom just did the porn shoot with her agent). This agent turtle was inspired by your moms incredible perversion and decided to make Starlogo TNG so that he could watch blocks grab on to each other and do stuff. Starlogo TNG was a big hit in the programmer world. For a while, Starlogo TNG prompted programmers to put down their bongs, hacky sacks, didgeridoos, hopes of living, ex girl friends (this was done mostly with tire irons and a movie called "An Inconvenient Truth"), games, their drinks, any hopes they had of living, and, most importantly, traditional porn. The programmers loved watching the blocks grab each other and do things. Because of Starlogo TNG's fun building block style, it caught on with kids. Before the kids figured out that the glitchy building block porn was runing their innocent, pathetic little lives, they were to obsessed with it to care. This explains why teens now-a-days are so f***** up. After a while, the novelty of building blocks f****** each other wore off. In those days, the building block porn was just black and white. Most archaeologists believe that this was the porn once used by Mr. and Mrs. Pacman to spice up there love life. This was obviously before mario and peach came along and began filming their kinky 4-bit sex.
Eventually, the porn was beginning to get dull. In response to this, turtle decided to make the porn in color!!!! This is what lead to the marvelous, dazzlingly bright, next generation of blocky orgasmic goodness.