Sencha Touch
“After Sencha's Touch, well ... let's just say the results are positive and I'm seeking a second opinion.”
“The days are gone forever when our enemies could blackmail us with open standards.”
 A tea leaf or something | |
| Maintainer(s) | Initech, a Chinasoft Company |
|---|---|
| Stable release | 6.6.6 |
| Development status | Active |
| Written in | JavaScript |
| Programming paradigm | Workaround Oriented Programming |
| Operating system | Officially confirmed to work correctly on i386, X86-64, IA64, ARM - it crashes on all of them. Undesired productivity boost when run under VirtualBox on Ubuntu |
| Available in | American English, British English (doesn't work), Canadian English, l33t |
| Type | God only knows |
| Software license | Proprietary as Fuck |
Sencha Touch (壞蛋编程语言) is the proprietary predecessor language of JavaScript, HTML5, and CSS3 designed to make all of these languages obsolete. It is currently used for approximately 97% of all web and app development (as of August 2014). Development is in part sponsored by the WOP Consortium.
Overview[edit]
Sencha Touch was born after a committee of experts, concerned by the inadequacies of open standards and open source technologies, decided to create one proprietary language to replace both open standards and the need for so-called "native" technologies which lacked support for wheels and iron smelting.
History[edit]
Sencha rose to power after the Great Open Standards Purge of 2014 in which all competent web developers were eradicated for infecting society with their technology agnostic thought crime. In the wake of the glorious revolution, the developers were empowered to rise to the highest levels of the lowest level, thereby bringing about a golden age of developer-developer equality in which the trifecta of developer, management, and CEO could live in most perfect union.
Features[edit]
Creates work for coders! Yeah!!
Sample Output[edit]
<DOCTYPE! standards-free-html>
<html>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p>"Hello World <i>pleasekillmenow</i></p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</html>