SAS Ligaen

SAS Ligaen (which in danish means "The SAS League", SAS is a danish/swedish/norwegian flying company that is mostly known to celebrate unknown rituals by crashing their planes into random things. They are also believed to be collaberating with Al-Qaeda.) is the top division in the danish soccer league.

SAS Ligaen is not to be confused with "SAS", which is a secret evil organisation started by Steve Ballmer to help him Fucking Kill™ Steve Jobs. "SAS" is short for "Steve united Against that other Steve from Apple Corp." (Steve Ballmer isn't too good at spelling sentences).

SAS Ligaen is among other things known for being the home league for the personification of devil on earth, Stig Tøfting. Stig Tøfting is the only pro soccer player so far that has killed more opposition players than goals scored, he currently plays in Randers FC.

Beneath are listed some handy phrases and sentences to know if You wish to play pro soccer in Denmark:

-"Rød grød med fløde!" - Kindly ask another player to play the ball.

-"Rød grød uden fløde!" - Ask the waterboy to retrieve you something to drink.

-"Venstre, så ved du, at det bliver til noget!" - Very handy phrase to know in Denmark, as the government politicians says it all the time!

Facts

• Actually, the danish SAS Liga doesn't really exist. The matches shown on danish television is really just footage from the swedish Allsvenskan, with edited shirt colors. Only Stig Tøfting and the guy selling hot dogs at the danish national stadium is real.

• The danish national stadium is actually build completely of Lego™, the admission price is 45 bricks for children and 90 for adults. No refunds.

• Denmark actually doesn't have a national team. Danish players belong to the FUOI (the "Football Union Of IKEA"), since Denmark actually is the capital of IKEA.