Peter Popoff
Peter "Lucifer" Popoff is the illegitimate son of Satan, and formally the world's most successful televangelist con-artist, born in West Berlin on July 2nd, 1946. Popoff hides the ironic fact that he is a part of Satan's following with his amazingly contrasting Christian persona, through which, he drains the life force of unsuspecting pensioners on live television, much like a parasite in plain view.
Career[edit]
Popoff is often regarded as the single parasite who benefits the most out of sucking the blood of impressionable religious believers, claiming to cure everything from cancer to blindness, just by shaking their heads around like newborn babies and throwing them back down on to their seats. While at first, many believed Popoff to be fucking crazy, it turns out, during his live shows, his wife, the illegitimate daughter of Satan was relaying information of the audience members to Popoff's badly hidden earpiece, as exposed by the God-Wizard James Randi. After Popoff's exposure on live television as perhaps one of the biggest living disasters in human history, his career continued to flourish among a sea of impressionable pensioners
Transformation[edit]
Scientists estimate that Peter Popoff will suffer a near-fatal heart attack after a surprise beating from James Randi in the year 20XX, which will lead to Popoff using about 94.5% of the soul energy he captured from impressionable old people to power a transformation phase, after which, he will transform in to former U.S President Ronald Reagan and travel back to the year 1981 to assume presidency and effectively doom America to 1,000 years of darkness, during which he will command the assassination of James Randi repeatedly, causing the CIA to constantly fail all assassination attempts. Popoff believes that as this behavior is recursive, he will have an infinite amount of time through which he can kill Randi, but it is predicted with 100% certainty, that just like his career, his opinion is wrong.