Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 29

October 29: National Ignorance Awareness Day, International Rescue Day (Thunderbirds Are Go!)

• 922 - Peasants throughout Europe suddenly realize they are quite ignorant. Then, as one, they return to working in the fields, figuring they are too stupid to do anything else.
• 1576 - Rolf Harris invents the wobble board and didgeridoo. He is able to play both at the same time while groping girls.
• 1675 - Leibniz makes the first use of the long s, ∫, for integral. 315 years later I have to take calculus. Thanks, man. Thanks a fucking lot.
• 1782 - God gets up, has a slice of toast, then decides it's all too much bother and goes to bed again for 500 years.
• 1895 - International Rescue is established, with 2 horses, a penny-farthing bike, a rowboat and a good shovel.
• 1929 - The New York Stock Exchange crashes in what will be called the Crash of '29 or Black Tuesday, beginning the Great Depression. I think that was like, when, everyone got really unhappy for a long time.
• 1955 - Mother Brown gets me Dog And Bone.
• 1966 - For meritorious service, the Thunderbirds are knighted by the Queen. During the ceremony, she accidentally cuts their strings with her sword, causing embarrassment for all.
• 1969 - The first-ever computer-to-computer link is established on ARPANET, the precursor to the Internet. It is used to send porn.
• 1972 - President Richard Nixon declares that he is addicted to the word "declares".
• 1985 - Howard the Duck, dude. Howard the Duck.
• 1990 - Rolf Harris horrifies an audience in Melbourne with filthy basslines on his didgeridoo in an attempt to attract underage girls, while wearing only his CBE medal.
• 1998 - Space shuttle Discovery blasts off with 77-year-old John Glenn on board, making him the oldest person to go into space. He bores astronauts by telling them about how in his day, they didn't have astronaut ice cream, and that there were no zero-G toilets, they just had to hold it in the entire mission.
• 2002 - Ozone is linked to Al-Qaida, President Bush vows to increase carbon dioxide outputs as USA leads the way in the War on Terra.
• 2009 - Pam Anderson's breasts become self aware.