Nuance

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Last-battlefield.jpg

It's very simple: either you understand and appreciate nuance or you don't. There aren't two ways about it. People who can appreciate nuance are good, smart, right and a benefit to society; people who pay no attention to nuance should be taken out and shot.

Mitigation[edit]

Look, if you have an ounce of perception in your thick skull, you will acknowledge that in any given situation, while there are almost always general truths and acceptable modes of behavior, there are always mitigating factors (a.k.a. circumstances) that influence the best course of action. Given the complexity of human behavior and experience, "things" are by definition iffy and you need to take these factors into account before you go jumping to conclusions and flying off the handle.

If you don't, you're just a moron. It's as simple as that.

The problem[edit]

Morons who don't consider all sides of an argument before making snap judgments need to be rounded up and put out of all our misery. They cause nothing but problems in the world, and they are never ever going to change. So we should just take them all out to a field and mow them down, just like that. An AK-47 ought to do the trick. That would completely solve the problems they refuse to stop burdening the rest of us with.

Am I being clear enough?[edit]

Maybe you aren't getting my drift here. I don't think I'm being wishy-washy or unclear. Maybe I'm stuttering. Am I stuttering? I don't think so. What part of kill all the morons who refuse to be more judicious and reasonable do you not understand?

Or maybe you just disagree? Is that it? Well, I don't want to hear it. It's people like you who keep anything really effective from getting accomplished. Is there any redeeming quality to the jerk-offs who see the entire world in their uninformed black and white? No. So what's the problem? If we simply kill them all, then we will no longer have to endure their idiotic, jingoistic, biased nonsense.

Round up the morons who don't have sense enough to carefully consider every detail. Then shoot them.

The plan[edit]

First, send out a simple survey to everyone in the world. This survey asks one simple question.

"Do you believe that people who violate sacred principles of fairness and equanimity should be dealt with swiftly and harshly?"

This is a well-designed question, and it will weed out the morons in a beautifully simple way. As you can clearly see, anyone who answers this question "Yes" is a moron.[1]

We then round them up in an open field and shoot them all.[2] It will be very important to go through the crowd carefully and make sure each moron is dead, or the entire effort is futile.

Then, what can I say?

Mission accomplished.

Footnotes[edit]

  1. And, by their own admission, would support our effort. Think about it.
  2. We should probably also include in the group everyone with a lisp. Lisps are annoying and moronic.