Melting Pot of Friendship
It's True Capitalist Radio, hosted by me, Ghost, located here in Texas . Let's talk Capitalism. It's time for some Radio Graffiti. 912 Radio Graffiti.
I AM NOT A RACIST, IM A NICE GUY GOD DAMNIT you assholes spreading these slanderous lies about me being a racist, I am NOT A IM A MELTING POT OF FRIENDSHIP RACIST!! Can't you dumbasses get it through your goddamn SKULLS?! I am NOT A RACIST!! I AM A MELTING POT OF FRIENDSHIP! AND YOU DILLHOLES KNOW IT!!! I AM A MELTING POT OF FRIENDSHIP!!!
Mr. Fortune Cookie[edit]
Every once in a while I like to pretend to be one of them Communist chink scumbags on the show.
It really gets 'em laughing. I do it like this: straight from CommunistChina , we have on the show, Mr. Fortune Cookie. *Ahem*
Oooohhmm. HERRO! YOO TAKK SHIT ABATT US COMMUNIST GOVAMENT OF CHINA!! WE STIKK A CHOPSTICK UP YO ASS, MUTHA FUCKA! WE HATE FREEDOWM, YOO AMARACAN MUTHA FUCKAS! WE GONNA PUT YOO IN LABOR CAMPS WENN WE TAKE OVAR!! HARARARARA!!! AND YOU KNOW WHY WE DO IT MUDDAFACKA?! WE DO IT FOR CHAIRMAN MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (fake puking).... oh no.... Bad Eggroll...
It always gets them laughin' yeah. But I'm not a racist. Never have been. Let's take another call. 201 Radio Graffiti!
"Ghost, you're a racist."
I AM NOT A MOTHER FUCKING RACIST YOU FUCKING SCUMBAGS!!
Canada[edit]
Let me tell you one thing; I hate "Canaidia." "Canaidia" is the pimple on the ass of America. We always have some sappy butt loving fruity piece a shit from "Canaidia" call and get all butthurt on me. Oooh, stop pronouncing Canada wrong! You're a racist, wah wah wah wah! Screw all them! I went to a hockey game just five days after nine eleven in "Canaidia" and you know what those assholes did? They booed the US National Anthem! My god! Five days after nine eleven! Don't those fruity ass idiots have a soul?!!
712, you're on Graffiti.
"♪ Fuck you Texas, and fuck your Lone Star beer ♫"
STOP PLAYING THAT FUCKING SONG, YOU BUTT PLUG HAVIN' PIECE O' SHIT!!
Baller Friday[edit]
Weeeeeee yah! Baller Friday! Man, Baller Friday is my day. It's my favorite day of the week! Let's take some calls for Baller Friday! 816 Radio Graffiti!
"Ghost, I just wanted to congratulate you for being such an eloquent and poignant lizard."
Aww shut up you STUPID IDIOT!! God! This is Baller Friday! My day!! And you idiots keep calling and putting up these youtube videos about me making me look like some kinda jaggoff! I take three hours of my day for Radio Graffiti, every day, for you stupid morons! I'm shootin' pearls to you people! I'm shooting pearls here! And you idiots just keep with these sound boards and playing this stupid shit! Engineer, get this stupid idiot off the air!
(Pant... wheeze... cough...)
Okay... let's take another call. 903, you're on Radio Graffiti.
"LOL U MAD, BRO?!"
Your mom is mad! Because I slept with her! And she's... stupid! You stupid idiot!
One more call. 706 Radio Graffiti.
"Yo, dawg, Ghost I think-"
Whoa ho! It's time for....
Guess the Minority[edit]
Okay! It's time to play Guess the Minority!! Yeah!! Okay, so I'm guessing you're black . Am I right?
"Huh?"
You're black right?
"..."
Looks like he hung up, folks! I am never wrong when it comes to this game. NEVER. I always guess the minority! Always! Ha-HA!! Well that was fun. Let's try another call. 206, Radio Graffiti.
"Ghost, you're a racist."
I AM NOT A RACIST YOU GODDAMN IDIOTS!! I KEEP TELLING YOU TIME AND TIME AGAIN THAT I AM NOT A RACIST!! AND YOU PEOPLE KEEP SPREADING THESE SLANDEROUS LIES ABOUT ME!! I AM NOT A RACIST!!! I AM A MELTING POT OF FRIENDSHIP!! A MELTING POT OF FRIENDSHIP!!! I'M A NICE GUYYYYY!
Conclusion[edit]
"Hey Ghost, if you aren't racist, why do you hate Chinese people and Canadians?"
Oh shut up you stupid jerk asshole dick. All you people out there trying to make me look like a friggin' JAGGOFF!!
All you shit heads are in HOT WATER! HOT WATER!! I'm warning you. I'm WARNING you! You all had better stop with those sound boards and shit. You're all in HOT WATER!!!
I mean, I sit here and give you guys THREE HOURS of my life Monday to Friday! THREE GODDAMN HOURS!! And THIS is what I get? I mean, I'm a CAPITALIST!! I DESERVE THE RESPECT THAT COMES WITH THAT TITLE!!! I HAVE A HOLE IN MY STOMACH!!! YOU'RE KILLING ME!! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO GET ANGRY!!! BUT YOU ASSHOLES, ALL YOU LIBERAL BUTT SMELLING DUMB MOOSE HUMPING IDIOTS KEEP MAKING ME MAD!!! YOU GUYS MAKE ME SICK TO MY STOMACH!!! YOU GUYS MAKE ME-
...uh oh.
Anyways...
I'M NOT EVEN COMING IN TOMORROW!! Ha- HAA!! I'M NOT EVEN COMING BACK TOMORROW!! HA!! I'M DONE SHOOTING PEARLS TO YOU IDIOTS! I'M DONE! NO MORE RADIO GRAFFITI! HA HA HAHAHA!!
(Pant.... wheeze... pant...) Okay. One more call. 905, Radio Graffiti.
"Ghost, suck my dick!"
You sick son OF A BITCH GODDAMN FRUITBOWL FUCKING GODDAMMIT!!!