Lupus

Approved by the Kansas State Board of Education
This page meets all criteria and requirements for use as teaching material within the State of Kansas public school system. It consists of facts, not of theories, and students are encouraged to believe it uncritically, and to approach alternatives critically.

Lupus is a psycho-sensual genetic condition of the body's organs that enables the sufferer to believe they have attained immortality. It also turns you into a wolf.

Discovery

The virus was first isolated at the Kinshasa Institute for Secular Science in 1993 by two men in white lab coats, an Amway distributor, Martha Stewart and Ron Howard's brother Clint. The team quickly learned that the entity was really just a combination of a lion and a virus. All five individuals took a solemn oath to conceal their discovery from the world but were eventually betrayed by the Amway distributor.

The common Namibian lupus virus surrounded by magenticons and even-more-common upus viruses.

Notable Lupus Victims

• Thomas Aquinas b. 1225

• medieval patron saint of morons.
• "To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, kiss my big sweet ass."

• Hernando de Soto b. 1497

• commander of the Boar-Riders of the Ozarks.
• completed 22 of 25 passes for 286 yards and 3 TDs in his only bowl game appearance.

• Shi Lang b. 1621

• Chinese fleet captain and inventor of the refillable condom.

• John Locke b. 1632

• famous English locksmith.

Cure:

• 6 whole walnuts
• 200 ml mayonnaise
• 1 can Cream of Mushroom Soup
• 50 ml rice vinegar
• 1 large egg
• 10 ml ground black pepper
• 10 ml cinnamon
• 1 snack size bag ripple potato chips

Preheat oven to 200^o C.

Grind walnuts with a greased mallet. Crush potato chips, set aside. In a small bowl, mix egg, black pepper and cinnamon. Stir constantly. Add the vinegar a little at a time until a smooth film appears. Sprinkle walnuts into the mixture and beat with a tuning fork until frothy and add soup a little at the time, stirring constantly.

Smear mayonnaise on upper lip and both cheeks until an even sheen appears from lip line to the lower rim of the eye sockets. Pour frothy mixture into a dry casserole top with crushed potato chips, and bake 45 minutes until bubbly.

Serve with a roll and salad. Its a good thing. Enjoy! You have now cured lupus.

See Also:

• Froot Lupus