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This is how they dealt with loiterers back in ancient times.

Mostly a tatic used by lonely teenagers to feel cool, loitering is described as remaining in one location for an extended period of time. This action (or rather lack of action) is most annoying when executed in busy areas, such as parks, streets, hospital operating rooms, airport runways, concentration camps and your front lawn.

Alright, that's it for the introduction,go ahead and read the next section. Come on, you act like you own the place. Seriously, you're holding others up, so move it or lose it buddy.


Many avid loiterers can be traced back to such places and locations such as the Oracle at Delphi. Greek priests would use hallow threats to keep people moving along. Not much has changed since then. Empty threats are still the primary use for defence against loiterers. However, torturing loiterers was popular in the 16th century. The loiterers per square mile ratio was at an all time low around this time.

Sigmund Freud published his loitering theory in 1902. It states that in order to loiter, there must be a loitee. In order for there to be a loitee, the person must be a loiterer. Finally, to be a loiterer, you must be in a loiterable location.

Ok, ok, you saw and you read, now let's keep it moving. We don't have all day. Other's dont want to see your sorry ass hanging around. On to the next section.


Nothing to see here.
This is how we handle loiterers around here, bud.

Marathons and fund raisers are held annually for loitering-prevention technology. In the 21st century, vulgar and harsh threats seem to be the primary weapon used against avid loiterers. Signs thus far have proven no use. It is a common fact that most loiterers are illiterate and can in fact not read. The machete is also on the cutting edge of loitering-prevention technology (No pun intended). The ROFLMAO (Reseach Office For Loitering Managment and Annihilation Organization) is the primary institute for research against loitering. The recently developed M1 Flamethrower has been tested with great results on loitering packs. Located in Bern, Switzerland, an annual meeting of world leaders takes place every twelve years to discuss the issue.

Come on, how many times do I have to say this? There's more of the article to see. No, no, don't start leaning against the wall, chatting to people! Don't make me get the broom, pal...

Social and Legal Perspectives[edit]

Yeah, the 'cool' kids, doing what they do best... Absolutely nothing.

Loitering is illegal in all 198 countries of the United Nations. Fines of thousands of dollars can be given. In China, If you are caught loitering, your legs are cut off. You are also denied a wheelchair to prevent further loitering. Moreover, it has been a blasphemy and sin since the beggining of time. The 13th commandment[1] clearly states "Thou shalt not Loiter". It is very frowned upon by all to see a loitering individual or crowd. Loiterers however are usually in crowds. This is most likely because it is easier to create a 'social circle' this way. The mechanics of a social circle are also under investigation by the Regional Ordinance For Loitering Misdemeanors And Offenses, or the ROFLMAO.

Well this is the end of the article. Don't tell me how much you hated it, I don't care! So what if I switch between first person and third person? Sheesh, everyone's a critic. Come on buddy, this article is a busy place...at least I wish it was...but this is a big site, don't sit around here, just looking like an idiot! Oh, so you're saying I'm holding you up, now? What a twist of irony, huh? Well, that does it... where'd I put my flamethrower?


  1. Originally there were 15 commandments, but Moses, having a huge hangover from the other night dropped one of the tablets and shattered it into pieces. The commandment against loitering was on the shattered stone, right below "Thou shalt not Jaywalk"

See Also[edit]