Lifeboats

In case of emergency, follow this map and obey all crew instructions.

“Women and children first! Then me! Then everybody else!”

~ Oscar Wilde on lifeboats

A lifeboat is a small boat used to evacuate passengers from a ship that is on fire and/or sinking.

Women and Children First

Traditionally, women and minors under the age of 16 were given priority to board lifeboats. Originally based on old-fashioned concepts of the male responsibility to protect the weak, the policy remains in effect on most ships merely as a courtesy. Modern ships like this one has sufficient lifeboat capacity for all passengers - women, children and men. There is no need to push or shove. A calm, orderly disembarkation will be faster for everyone.

Once you have finished with that unseemly panic, follow the other passengers to the life boat station.

Types of Lifeboats

In general, there are two types of lifeboats:

• Whaleboats - wood or fiberglass boats designed to be lowered from the ship's decks
• Inflatable rafts - space-saving rubber life rafts expand to full size in emergency

Just pick one and get in. They both float and are preferable to this sinking ship.

Lifeboat Operation

Lifeboat made out of cans of beer for drunks who want to keep drinking

Passengers are expected to learn about lifeboat operations during drills held at the beginning of every voyage, and it's a little late to ask now. Some passengers can't seem to wait to get drunk. The lifeboat's oars are simply for backup, this boat is equipped with a gas-powered motor. Please do not stand in the boat. Without a low center of gravity, the boat is likely to capsize. Do not play with the flare gun. Put it down. Put it down, I said!

*BANG* Pssssssssst.

This is the sound an inflatable life raft makes after a flare is shot through the rubber. Oh damn. All passengers should be wearing life vests.