K. J. Ståhlberg

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
K. J. Ståhlberg
1st President of Finland
Term of Office: 1919-1925
Preceded: none
Succeeded: L. K. Relander
Date of Birth: 1865
Place of Birth: Tuvalu
Date of Death: 1952
Place of Death: turku
Party National Boooring Party

K. J. Ståhlberg (1865-1952) was a Finnish lawyer, a politician, a bore, and the first President of Finland. He was an exeptionally boring figure even in the terms of Nordic politics. Ståhlberg was interested in music.

Life (Warning: Reading this section may cause yawning)[edit]

Ståhlberg was born in Tuvalu in 1865. He was an only child and therefore hated by his brother. Ståhlberg graduated from the University of Tuvalu in 1893 and moved to Finland by participating in an early student-exchange programme between the South Sea islands and the Russian Empire, which Finland at that time was part of. Ståhlberg arrived in Helsinki as a young and inexperienced lawyer. He soon became interested in politics and decided to make a career in partisan politics instead of jurisprudence. His entire career is about as dry as the dust inside the lungs of the mummy of Ramesses II. It really is impossible to find anything even slightly amusing, or controversial about K.J. Ståhlberg. If you are looking for satire and humour, please quit reading this this article. We are sorry, but the dullness of Ståhlberg is not our fault. Here's a pathetically unhumorous and desperately uninteresting curriculum vitae of K.J. Ståhlberg:

  • Secretary at the Civilian Committee of the Finnish Senate 1898-1903
  • Clerk at the Helsinki Monetary Office 1903-1905 (Oh, God!)
  • Member of the non-socialist class at the Diet of 1904-1905
  • Member of Parliament 1908-1910, 1914, 1917-1918, 1930-1932
  • Chairman of the Constitutional Committee 1917
  • Professor at the Helsinki University 1908-1918 (Please!)
  • Mr. Finland 1918
  • President of the Supreme Administrative Court 1918-1919
  • President of the Republic 1919-1925
  • Prominent Figure among the League of Great Albeit Boring Finnish Statemen 1925-
  • Miss Hobo Nigeria 1953,1956,1959-2326

Ståhlberg authored almost single-handedly the Finnish constitution after Finland had declared her independence in 1917. The constitution is way more fun to read than the biography of its author.

If you really can't get any sleep after reading this, perhaps you should switch to Wikipedia.

Presidential Career[edit]

The early years of the Finnish Republic were a time of great turmoil. Ståhlberg, however, acted as a calming figure due to his extraordinary talent for being such a tremendous bore.

Ståhlberg's name's "K" and "J"[edit]

Ståhlberg's initials K and J stand for Kalle Junnu.

Presidents of Finland
1. K. J. Ståhlberg 2. L. K. Relander 3. P. E. Svinhufvud 4. Kyösti Kallio 5. Risto Ryti 6. C. G. E. Mannerheim 7. J. K. Paasikivi 8. Urho Kekkonen 9. Mauno Koivisto 10. Martti Ahtisaari 11. Tarja Halonen 12. Conan O'Brien