HowTo:Make a Fake Bibliography

Damn! That book report or huge project due this morning? Forgot to make a bibliography at the last minute? You're not done yet! Screw reading books! It's so easy to make a fake one that you'll wish you started doing this waaay sooner.

Orson Welles loved faking it.

Author's Names

More often than not, your teacher doesn't play video-games. So when you're making up the author's name, just use any video-game character that has a full name, like Mackenzie Frasier or Gordon Freeman. They'll never know the difference. However, if by the odd chance your teacher's a nerd, just combine first names of your friends with last names of your other friends, but change the spelling slightly by adding extra vowels or taking out silent letters (preferrably one's your teacher's never taught), such as Andrew Ferreira or Fawwaz Tiwari. You may even simply write, Fuck you, and just become a janitor. It works.

Website Names and Book Titles

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Making up the name of the book is pretty easy too. Say for example you're doing a project on Brocolli. Just put the name of your topic first, then a colon, then what the sub-topic is (ie. Broccoli: Where It Grows and How It's Farmed). If you're afraid your teacher might catch on, just simply use the name of the book followed by your made-up author's name with the subtitle included (so, "Broccoli Farming by Fawwaz Tiwari", or "Gorillas as an Indangered Species by Andrew Ferreira".

Do the same thing for website titles, but when it comes time to make the website address, start by putting "http://www." at the beginning, and always end with ".com/home/<insert subtitle here>.html".

Publishing and Dates

For the publishing company, just put <insert random state in the U.S. here> Publishing Inc. If they ask for the website organization, write PBS. For the year it was published, practice and experience has proved the most believable year is 2002.

The Wikipedia Method

Just make up Wikipedia pages as your main source. What's that? The page doesn't exist, and your teacher is a bitter old bitch that you know will check out the sites? No problem. Just make the pages yourself on Wikipedia, and if you're lucky, those damn Wikipedians won't delete it. In addition to this, you can also just use the external link on the bottom of the page of your topic for your bibliography, since no one will ever no the difference.

Examples

Book

Guererro, Frank. Giraffes in the Wild. Philadelphia: Philadelphia Publishing Inc, 2002.

Eddie Guerrero is a wrestler, Frank is my neighbor that I secretly watch undress while I jack off.

Website

Frasier, Lucas. "How Hydropower Plants Work." Hydro-Electricity. 2007. Government of Ontario. 28 Apr 2007 <http://www.ontario.gov/home/hydro/how.html>

Frasier is a TV show, Lucas is my brother's friend, the Government of Ontario actually exists, and the link looks believable.

Magazine article

Mothafucka, Amy. "Why Does This Happen?" Ivory Hunting Weekly 14 Jan 2003: 23-25.

The title is mediocre and so is that magazine, a Mothafucka is a Pokemon, and the page numbers are believable.