HowTo:Fix an Xbox 360

An Xbox 360 is one of the most popular gaming systems in America. Whats not to love about it, the overheating, the price tag, even the customer support is superb. There is an adjective for the Xbox 360 . Perfect. However if there happens to be a problem with your Xbox 360 which I highly doubt, there are several things you need to do to fix it.

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1. Assess the situation

What happened to the system? Try to find out exactly what is wrong with the system before pulling your genitals off. (not like anything could be wrong with it)Once you find out what is wrong with your Xbox 360 go directly to step 3. If you cannot find anything wrong with it go to step 2.

2. List of problems

Even though problems with this magnificent gaming system are rare. Problems still occur. Even though the problem is probably your fault you still need to fix it. Here are a list of the most common problems...

A. There is liquid spilled on your gaming platform such as urine or beer.

What to do: Place Xbox 360 in oven on 350 degrees for 15-30 minutes. That should dry all of the liquid right up and out of your system.

B. The Xbox 360 is on fire

What to do: Get a moist towel and firmly damper the fire out. If your Xbox 360 gets wet from the towel, follow instructions for wet Xbox 360 above

C. Red Rings Around The Power Button

What to do: This warning light simply means that the Xbox 360 is mad at you. You probably didn't play with it enough. To fix this simply spend some time with your Xbox 360, read it a story, give it some juice, all your Xbox 360 asks for is some TLC and some occasional porn.

D. The Disk Tray Is Opening And Closing All By Itself

What to do: Jesus Christ! Get a priest, your Xbox 360 is obviously possessed. Recommended priests include the creepy one down the street that always wants have you come over for "cookies." Or you could try some holy water. If using holy water, dry as stated before.

E. You want a Playstation 3 instead.

What to do: You've made the choice that many are afraid to make! Now, get a very thick blanket and rap it around your Xbox. if you feel very strongly about it, feel free to urinate on it, or go get a drink. Withing minutes your Xbox will get very, very grumpy with you and never ever, ever, EVER turn on again. Return it to the store and get your money back.

3. If Those Problems Don't Pertain You

If those problems don't pertain to you (you're probably high or schizophrenic) please call the Xbox 360 hot line. They will be sure to help you with all of your troubles with a smile on their faces and a cute Indian accent. The number is 1-800-XBOX-360-IS-GOD.

Thank you and have a nice day.