Gene Ray

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Gene Ray (born: ~1940) is a former electrician, and is best known as the father of reality, otherwise known as Time Cube. He is also one of the most prominent early advocators of the sport of Marbles, writing a comprehensive book on the subject.

Early Career[edit]

Gene Ray, born as Otis E. Ray, began his scientific career with the publication of his first thesis Mr Marbles' - Marbles for Everyone. While many criticise the scientific validity of the work, it was a sure sign of things to come. In the 1970s, Ray pressured the the city council of St Petersburg, Florida into creating a "Marbles Week". This culminated with a highly controversial attempt in 1978 to establish a multi-million dollar marble tournament inside a large purpose built roundhouse structure, centred around a newly established "Order of the Sphere".


Time Cube[edit]

--See Time Cube--

In 1997, Gene Ray began hypothesising the fundamentals of the Time cube theory, and subsequently created the Time Cube website Time Cube is Ray's main and longest website. In 2002, Gene Ray proclaimed himself a Doctor of Cubism, and the Wisest Human, and has since been going on a steady downhill slope.

Above God[edit]

Gene Ray's second website follows a similar layout to the Time Cube theory, but revolves around his personal views, mostly on Christianity. He explains in extreme depth how Time Cube and the four point day is related to race, concluding with a meticulous study on how worshipping a singular God equates to eating your own children.

Greatest Thinker[edit]

Greatest Thinker espouses Ray's views on religion further. The site is widely recognised for containing some of the most coherent sentences with more than four words ever written by Ray.

Wisest Human[edit]

Ray's fourth and final site, Wisest Human merely states "The Wisest Human Ever To Live On Earth", providing a link to the Time Cube website.

Public Response and Criticism[edit]

In January 2002, Ray was invited to MIT as part of the Independent Activities Period, a student organised nerdfest. He wagered $10,000 to any professor to disprove the theory, though none attempted. Soon after, Ray became an internet phenomenon.'

When interviewed by Z-List pseudo gaming journalist Martin Sargent on what it felt like to be an internet celebrity, Ray responded "Truth about Santa Claus debunks Santa God. God evolved from Santa".

Many editorials, including the Maine Campus, criticised Ray over describing racial integration as 'destroying all of the races'. He has since been quoted as being as incoherent in speech as he is in word.