Forum:Of new users and the welcoming committee

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Hi, I'm user;A_potentially_good_writer, I'm new to wikis and I've just signed up five minutes ago. This site is teh uber cool..

omglolol oscar wilde. omglolol kitten huffing. omglolol mr T. omglolol grues.

I like uncyclopedia. I will add oscar wilde quotes and KH jokes to every article I read.

wtf? my edits to teh arbicles just disappear. I'll edit them again.

wtf? they disappeared again.. Wtf

I just got the orange box saying "new message"

wtf? its an automated tl;dr rant. I am new to wikis and I dont understand what this is about

I'll add some grue jokes to teh iCarly arbicle.

wtf? they disappeared

Holy shit! What Michael Jackson fan wrote this shit? I'll add a MJ is teh pedofile joke

wtf? It disappeared

omg, this shit suxxorz. I'm gonna blank teh arbicle

omg, teh arbicle disdisappeared

I'll add a mj is teh pedofilez joke again

omg, I get this block'd screen. someone called roman dog bird told me to kill myself

omg, this site is teh suxxors. I'll tell my friends to vandalize it lolololol

Ahem.. Excuse me, gentlemen, but I believe the above is an everyday scenario for lots of new users, by which we lose a lot of potentially good editors. And of course, you already know that the number of good writers we have is fallin, slowly but steady. So we need new writers. But our policies are scaring off potential users.

What I'm proposing is the reformation of a welcoming committee, a real one, to welcome new users. And by welcome, I don't mean substituting the robotic rant that is the welcome template over all new users' talk pages. I'm talking about a short personal welcome message, to which the noob replies, engaging in an introduction-ary dialogue with the committee member.. Ya'll dig me? I'm talking about dynamic dialogues to get new users to stay... And I'll personally guarantee that we'll get half a dozen good writers every month.

Oh shit, my post is getting huge, I have to stop.. And please, for the sake of everything you love, DONT GET OFF TOPIC. • FreddThe Metalhedd • • • 18:01, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

I don't think there's anything wrong with the current welcoming, as long as the user welcoming take a bit more responsibility and advise the user if he's acting in a potentially damaging manner. Also, admins don't tend to ban on the spot, unless it's really clear that the noob is editing in bad faith. Also, can we stop the whole OUR NUMBERS ARE DWINDLING hysteria? We have great writers, none of them has vanished lately, and this ongoing OMG OMG WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE mantra is really exaggerated. Just sayin. ~ 18:09, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Can I quote you on that in the UnSignpost? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:13, 14 October 2009

last I checked admins ban if you look at them wrong, or if they look at you wrong, or the moon is aligned right or something. While that is semi-joking, it's not completely. Just saying. Also nice post mahmoosha, lol -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 18:14, Oct 14

Mordillo, are you saying that our welcoming policy is as good as it could possibly be? Because if that's what you saying, then you're totally right.. Also, I am not a fan of OMG WERE GONNA DIE, OUR NUMBERS ARE DWINDLING, but.. between 2007 and 2009, uncyc lost more good writers than it gained, and I predict likewise or worse between 2009 and 2011. • FreddThe Metalhedd • • •

Hey there. Heya. Howdy. Hi. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 22:48, Oct 14

Hi.. What's this place? I'm new here. • FreddThe Metalhedd • • •

Hi I'm 12 what is this? -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:05, 14 Oct

Really?!?! Coz Im 12, too!!!!1 lolololol!! Why nobody welcomed us? We angry. We vandalising. • FreddThe Metalhedd • • • 23:11, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Wut the hell is this Euroipods bullshit ur all jew fags do go to hell and crap there lol!1!! -Almost Sir Random Crap

Or... You can help new users by editing their articles. Go to Special:NewPages once in a while and look to see if there is anything there which interests you and... Edit it and add it to your watchlist! Even if it's just adding a picture or formatting some text gives the n00bs a lot of encouragement. If you see a new user make a good edit elsewhere in the wiki edit that article also. There is a theme to this edit... Everything else is fine. MrN  Fork you! 06:25, Oct 20

I would our problem is mostly lack of enough clear instructions and the problem of bad articles spawning more of the same. --Mn-z 16:20, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

My only real problem with the current Welcome Template...

...is that it's a giant wall of text. The one I got when I joined Wikipedia was far more terse, but it still contained all the vital information that I ignored. It seemed, I don't know, more personal. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 08:17, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

I got a very big and colourful one, It looked awesome, but tldr.. At least we can shorten our welcome template and make it more personal or something • FreddThe Metalhedd • • • 08:25, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

I don't think the welcome template makes any real difference, when I arrived TKF gave me my welcome and I managed to delete it by accident. The point I'm trying to make is that productive users will do their best and try to learn the way the wiki works, regardless of the welcome message, a ten year old with an internet connection who likes blanking pages because it's 1337 won't be perturbed by the message either. I think, that the discussion about welcoming people we had recently (where we decided that virtually nobody reads the message, but at least the capacity to read it is there and people who read the welcome message are will reap the benefits, and those who don't read it but want to contribute will learn in other ways) bears some real significance here. I really can't endorse an idea that we should overhaul the entire welcoming committee because some people are too lazy too read 3 paragraphs of text.

The idea is a nice one, and in an ideal world we would be able to do it for everyone and we could all be a big happy community, but welcoming all the new people who appear everyday and are then never seen again, or infinitely banned straight away is time consuming enough as it is. Ultimately having users strike up conversations with every new user will just result in the same thing just in a more informal way that takes longer. These are my most profound thoughts on the matter. --ChiefjusticeDS 16:49, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

The idea was more like, personal welcomes for users with usernames that make sense, and who have already made a couple of edits (even if they were sucky). I remember the day I found out about about uncyclopedia, I was like wow, this place rocks and so forth. I didnt sign up till after a month or more, and if it wasnt for some personal welcome messages I got from some users (CBBQ, I gues), I wouldnt have stayed and written stuff. • FreddThe Metalhedd • • • 17:01, October 15, 2009 (UTC)

Who? User:Zheliel • Talk 06:09 October 20

Usernames who make sense? Mahmoosh? Mnbvcx? Why do I need to provide it? Yest time to edit? naaahhh....~ 14:03, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

As in PenisTree6987 on crack • FreddThe Metalhedd • • • 14:42, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

With this in mind, I recently revamped my welcome template. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 23:55, Oct 20

I have a confession

I have never read HTBFANJS or BGBU. Make of this what you will. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 16:40, Oct 20

Me neither. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:45, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

Much like du Maurier's Rebecca, HTBFANJS is unfairly dismissed as populist. mAttlobster. (hello) 16:57, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

the first time i read it was 4 months after i signed up. honest • FreddThe Metalhedd • • • 17:02, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

So judging from these intitial responses, HTBFANJS and BGBU are unnecessary, as all of us above are well-established users (we even have some features between us). /drama WHAT now??? Tuesday, 17:11, Oct 20

No, they are unnecessary for these people, they are very necessary for other people who think that saying "Lol david richards mum is a fta hore" is the embodiment of humour or filling an article with nonsense that they have just dreamed up is the funniest thing ever. As I said above people who want to be good contributors either know what humour is already or make an effort to learn by getting feedback from others via PEE review or other things. I never read them when I first joined either, mostly because I deleted them by accident, but I have skimmed through both in an effort to provide pertinent feedback on PEE review. They are very useful for some poor misguided fools souls. --ChiefjusticeDS 17:24, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

As my High School English teacher (who is also a 'Nam vet, a Buddhist, and missing a finger) once said, "The Good need no rules. The Bad have none." By this reasoning, it won't matter if we have those pages or not; the vandals will be vandals no matter what we put on their talk page. But then, as I told my English teacher, we have rules to protect the Good from the Bad. This means on Uncyclopedia that we post the links so when we ban the vandals we can say, "The links were there, nub. Why didn't you read them?" QED. WHAT now??? Tuesday, 17:36, Oct 20

I didn't read HTBFANJS when I first signed up, either. Then I realized I sucked, and read it like 15 times. Then I stopped sucking. I think I read BGBU when I showed up, but it's mostly common sense stuff and didn't help me much. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 23:59, Oct 20

Well, point. I didn't get my first feature for about 6 months. Even after all that time I only had written about 3 articles. So, perhaps if I had read it I would have gotten my act together sooner. But is my case isolated? JT has written over 100 articles. For $350,000, I can do extensive research into this fascinating field. WHAT now??? Wednesday, 04:05, Oct 21 2009

I read both of 'em pretty much as soon as they showed up in my welcome message. But then I'm depressingly keen about stuff like that (plus I live in permanent fear of being asked questions later). I actually found 'em both quite helpful - although much of the rest of the welcome message was kinda window dressing for me. --UU - natter 12:35, Oct 21

HTBFANJS needs to have an Oxford English Circumcised Edition..which actually sounds like an article by RabbiTechno. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 20:14, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

Circumcised Edition? WHAT now??? Wednesday, 20:42, Oct 21 2009

Given that we're all talking about the welcoming message

I got the welcoming message from Todd Lyons. I thought Stupid automated message and ignored it and ignored HTBFANJS and BGBU. I have read and re-read HTBFANJS and think that it is fantastic as a tool to improve writing, and also to be used as part of a PEE review. But I also have to say that I have been seriously banned only once, and that was by semi-accident (due to fuzzy rules about sockpuppets, my IP was banned, not my Username).

Having gone through this, I did actually get in touch with a regular user a few times after I started here. The first time was a few days after I first logged in as PuppyOnTheRadio, and was advised that he was about to go for a month and he'd get back to me when he got back. I also asked him to adopt me, and got nothing. I also asked for technical help on something, and got no response.

Now I'm not pointing the finger at said user, just that this is more the experience that I felt and I'm sure others felt when they first started. If we're talking about the negative reaction new users get when they edit the MJ article and add in terrible jokes, or put up vanity pieces, or one of a million things... well, do we want more registered users, or do we want more users that will contribute quality articles?

My rant for the day.

Pup t 03:36, 22/10/2009

I concur. The Welcoming Committee/message should be revamped. I'll draw up a sample welcome message tommorrow. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 05:47, Oct 22 2009

I already did. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 20:05, Oct 22

Yeah, well, mine is better. Thusly, nyah. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 05:26, Oct 23 2009

You're both on drugs. Mine is the bestest. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 06:15, October 23, 2009 (UTC)

Falling... undar.... spel... • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 06:16, Oct 23 2009

u r teh suxxors - mine is da bom Pup t 06:21, 23/10/2009

You know, there is such a thing as being too friendly. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 06:36, Oct 23 2009

No. You know, puppy's template should replace the oops template or whatever we send to distruptive editors. It'll work like a charm. HOW comes??? 09:33, October 23, 2009 (UTC)

I dunno Necropax, your message could use some shortening, and not just because it lacks a crumbly texture. Noob attention span is always low, and I'm leaning towards shortening my already brief welcome message to "Read HTBFANJS and BGBU or everyone will whisper about you when your back is turned" in really big letters. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 04:11, Oct 24

Well, maybe if I put "STOP! READ THIS BEFORE DOING ANYTHING!", the noobs might pay attention. Also, I was writing to the reasonably intelligent n00b, meaning potentially a valuable user. I don't care about the stupid YouTube commenters. I'm aimed at putting those potential "good users" on a sure foundation. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 04:28, Oct 24 2009

As a noob, I do not feel the love here. :( Though, I like editing, so I will stay. :) —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Theoneinblack (talk • contribs)

I welcomed my first user

Here. Did I do everything right? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 07:33, Oct 25 2009

Looks good to me...that is , if the Noob wants to read this first before trying to be funny and falling flat on their face or bum at their first attempt. ..Perhaps there should be a system of yellow and red cards as they use in football (soccer for North Americans) or perhaps a sin bin idea (rugby/ice hockey etc)..--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 12:09, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

My shortened version! (perfect in every concievable way)

Here • FreddThe Metalhedd • • • 14:26, October 29, 2009 (UTC)