Forum:Improv with Brad

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I personally love collaborations, and I often just joke around with folks: roleplaying, if you will. Modus is also guilty of this. So, let's do this. You set the scene, and I'll play along. But I warn you, whatever you set up, I will find a different direction to take it in, so be ready for me to weird up a normal situation, or normal down a weird situation. Oh, and if you start a sex scene, I will leave.--<<>> 02:53, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Scenes start below

So, this one time, I totally started a sex scene. Brad left, leaving just me to finish it by myself. Alone. It was pretty hardcore. More correctly, it was mostly the latter, with very little of the former. I still stumble across clips of it in darker corners of the internet, often accompanied by commentary from people who have watched it. A lot of people have thrown up after witnessing my untitled masterpiece. It's that good. Some people say that it's my deep and wide "in character" style of acting. Others credit my "Dr. Manhattan"-style penis. Seriously, it's like a glow stick, which makes me much safer out trick or treating on Halloween. Often, this leads to my arrest. Trick, indeed! In the morning, Brad normally drops by and posts my bail, saying "You're not very good at this collaboration thing, are you?", a query for which my blue penis has no reply. It just sits there, staring at my feet. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 04:12, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

So I'm just hangin' there, staring at Modus's feet, and idly wondering if toenails are supposed to be that colour, when I get censored and pixellated in the edited for TV version. --the blue penis

Modus, if you're not going to wear your costume, could you at least tell your anthropomorphized penis to stop talking? Now you've got the children interested, and that's just wrong.--<<>> 12:40, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

A mischievous sock lies in the background, seemingly lifeless... -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 12:47, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Will I get 72 virgins if I join this? -- The Colonel (talk) 16:20, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

The end. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 16:43, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Really? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 19:15, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

(Rolls credits) -- The Colonel (talk) 21:46, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Take two

It was a calm and pleasant night. I found this irksome, as a dark and stormy night would have been more conducive to my mood. As I sat in my threadbare armchair, smoking my briar pipe and brooding over the events of the previous few days, I heard a knock at the door. There were only two kinds of people who would knock on my door: ignorant fools, and one person in particular whom I was very keen to speak with. I opened the door. --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 23:49, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

"Hello, chap". It was Jack Barrowsmith, the director on my latest TV sitcom part, Does She Know? He had a grim face that must've gone to a funeral every cold afternoon. Despite that, he was as hearty as any vicar. "Are you keeping well?". I responded with the affirmative, after all I had been keeping well. I had spent my evening watching Michael Douglas in the 1989 hit film Black Rain and was very much looking forward to turning in for the night. Barrowsmith said he had news for me: "I see. Well, I'm awfully sorry to intrude on your fine night, but I have some bad news". My mind drifted off the thought of sleep for the moment. "They're cutting the series. No more Does She Know? I'm afraid. You'll have to look for work elsewhere. Worse luck, old boy. Cheerio!". I was left aghast. Still, I knew I had one thing left to count on. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 23:58, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

He burst through the window. "I got here as soon as I could" said my Senator, Chester Wilterton (R), as he dusted the glass off himself. "I think we can get this bill through, but I'll need your help." He pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his armpit. I'm not sure how long it's been there. He flattens it out and puts it on the table. "Just sign this bill and I'll pretend I'm you." I tried to read and he put his hand on my chest. "Up up up... just sign."--<<>> 00:25, 12 March 2009 (UTC)

However, after explaining that I was a Libertarian, I refused to sign the bill, served tea and scones, and had a jolly old time. I showed my guests to the door, and proceeded to wander aimlessly around my mansion. I stared blankly at inanimate objects; books, chairs, dead possums, and the like. I wandered over to a bust of my grandfather, Sir Charles Walker McSimpson VII, and examined the old marble. It was old, and hard. And cold. I lifted the top of the bust, revealing a large, stereotypically red button. I pressed the button. VT 00:31, 12 March 2009 (UTC)

That's when the rapists attacked. Or was it therapists? Well, anyway, someone attacked. Or did they legislate? Well, Someone did ... something. Sorry, I wasn't really paying attention (I may have been high). The point is, can I borrow five bucks?--<<>> 00:35, 12 March 2009 (UTC)

I have seven dishwashers and nobody's going to part me from them. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 11:35, 12 March 2009 (UTC)

That's when I woke up. The button had released a neurotoxin, which had knocked me out. I was dreaming the whole thing.--<<>> 11:46, 12 March 2009 (UTC)

Next scene

Dude, that fucking thing was huge. Like, WTF?

So there I was

camping in the fucking woods, doing my Solid Snake thing with the Arctic shit and the huskies, right? Like, lumberjack badass shit.

and this fucking yak

bursts out of the trees, musk all over the place, and instead of going for the dogs, he makes a yakline straight for me.

so I pulled out my

knife and cut the shit out of the thing, and it tries to mount me! WTF?

I barely got away with a major sinistral external abrasion and a severed brachialis radial.

No, seriously. It nearly raped me.

That's the last time I go hiking out in the topics.--<<>> 12:44, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

It's worse than the time that I stumbled on that fundamentalist Christian blog and stubbed my Poe. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 12:50, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

It was as bad as a poorly constructed similie. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 15:17, 13 March 2009 (UTC)