Cunnilingus
“Have your cunt and eat it too.”
“That looks exciting. I've never managed it.!!'”
Cunnilingus is the capital of the southern European country of Genitalia. Tourists are attracted to down-town areas of Cunnilingus because the excellent night life and popular fish market. The annual carpet licking contest also proves to be a draw year after year. During Easter celebrations, rug munching festivities always draws large crowds, and it is an event not to miss and to plan in your diary.
Genitalia is thought to have been conquered by the Greeks in 69 BC, which would explain the use of flattery and early origins of cats and domesticated fish which was readily accepted by the Greeks.
Merger of Cunard Line and Aer Lingus[edit]
Rumours of a merger between Cunard and the Irish airline, Aer Lingus, which would give the merged company dominance of international travel both by air and sea have been denied.
Therefore, the directors of both Cunard Line and Aer Lingus have announced that anyone submitting suggestions for the name of the merged company will be prosecuted.
It has been recently reported that Aer Lingus has applied to run a service in which aircraft will be used to fly through the channel tunnel from England to France. The subsidiary formed will be named Chunnelingus.
Preparing for a "Dive"[edit]
You will need:
- Scuba gear- Things get pretty wet down there. If planning to dive to pressures of over 3 atmospheres, ensure enough oxygen is carried. It gets very cramped as you explore the depths, especially if it's just after that time of month, (unless it's a man!) where conditions are particularly inhospitable. There is a great risk of suffocation.
- A Game Plan- Try to map out where you're planning to go on a dive. If you have enough time to prepare, try google maps or if not, the clitoris also features in major A-Zs and Sat-navs.
- Shears- The cave of "G" is often covered in a dense bush of Pubic seaweed, which needs to be combated before entering the hole. This weed can also be inhabited with creatures such as the infamous crabs, which heavily guard the territory. By removing the seaweed, you solve all problems.
- Weed Whacker- For when the shears just won't cut it.
- Mint Candy- Freshen up before and after; the effects of peppermint, spearmint, wintergreen &c may very well transfer to your partner, which feels sooo good . . . maybe even more so than getting a blowjob from someone sucking on mints, Altoids in particular
Folk of Cunnilingus[edit]
Residents of Cunnilingus are known as cunning linguists. Many cunning linguists are well known for their oral skills and possession of large numbers of felines. They are also described as being messy, but eager to please. Typically, people of Cunnilingus have mostly boofy, dark, frizzy unruly hair and incur the strange custom of waxing their head of hair or using disposable razors. Other folk of Cunnilingus choose to be bald. They enjoy their seafood diet, and spend a lot of their time at sea, in boats, mostly amongst seamen. Other folk of Cunnilingus choose to socialise with fellow females, and eat their meals together. Another custom of these inhabitants of Cunnilingus is to make regular pilgrimages to the Red Sea.
Lifestyle[edit]
The town of Cunnilingus is a tourist town, with many an influx of foreigners passing through Genitalia who like to explore Europe. Tourists are advised to wear rubber raincoats if they are unfamiliar, or not adjusted to Cunnilingus's moist and humid environment. Due to the Climate of Genitalia, disease can be easy to catch, and travel vaccinations are advised. There are many 'Contiki' tours of the rugged bushland of Genitalia, though Cunnilingus is situated north of Genitalia and is cultivated amoungst swamplands, estuaries and open land. If conducting tours or Genitalia's vast bushland, then always have a sherpa; there have been a number of fatalities due to people being disorientated and overwhelmed by the bushland's fetid smell. Usually after heavy rainfall, bushland hikes and exploration is best.
Sites not to miss in Cunnilingus[edit]
Cunnilingus sustains vast natural beauty where the nature conscious can explore it's vast lands. The marine lifestyle of cunnilingus has much to offer with amazing fishing and numerous estuaries. Vulva Valley offers a first class experience in white water rafting, but as seasons vary, so do the rapids. The rapids can get prone to yeast infections so follow advice of the locals.
In the calmer waters of Vulva Valley, Liquid Canyon is a tourist attraction all year round. Divers have yet to determine it's depth, and video footage is inconclusive. This tourist attraction is not for the fainthearted! Animal researchers have determined that the species of Candida, a rare plant exists here, and laboratory growths of this plant continues. Other plants may be there as well.
“I try to stay healthy but those tourists keep bringing germs.”