Ella Fitzgerald

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“Skit skat skiddly-doo bop bidee bop shibby.”

~ Ella Fitzgerald on the deficit spending ratio's effect on interstate commerce.

Ella Jane Fitzgerald (April 25, 1917 – June 15, 1996), also known as the "Spito skit spito doo Queen" and "Lady Ella," was an American jazz and song vocalist.

Early Career[edit]

Nasta stoh pop bido dit dat-doogity do fantuh noosh shop shi-boobidy BIM-BUM anna kiDOW dum di dee do di don duh tok ticka shinoop wop doo wop wap wiggity wee bum pinoosh sho shee reggidy be bum di stoppa tat ting diggy to tap tuh tog yot yambalaboomba pitata fa ta-ta-ta-ta daggle di boop bop!

Wavering Support During the WWII[edit]

Te tottlidoo dom duh deedle ih du BOM bamma-di tot toh ye-tiddle ye too bum snaffa sni-snoo soh be bobbity boop tuh ICH EICH UNE YERGH GREIBENSTATZ STRUBEN ESTRAUSSEN DOCH YUN ALBGELEITET VON DER PEJORATIVEN KURZBEZEICHNUNG BENUTZTEN DIE zap zibby shi boop bop poppity pow wow snick snackity snow wow gi di duh donk tat skit skat nack a dingle-a-doo bop tet taddle snackitydoo di duh donka kitta kow wow pinowow ALS DIE HERKUNFTSWORTER UND WIRD AUCH ZUR BEZEICHNUNG DER DAMALIGEN boop!

Transmutation Into Cyborg Fitzgerald 2.0[edit]

Beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop skat!

Stuttering Affliction of 1958[edit]

T...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t... t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t... t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t... t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t

Vow of Silence of 1963[edit]

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Doowopbidow!

Explosion at Skat Fest of 1966[edit]

Skittlee doo bop bideeble tittatkitow tantici dee dooby shooby wooby nidi tattli pow tow CANNA CI DOO DOOWOP SHIBIDI BI IBOO BOP NANA TAT TOT DIDDLY WUB WIB AWAMMAL SHIN AFANNA KIT KAT KIDOODLE DEWOOP SHWOP POP DIBOP TOP BIDOP POODLIE DOODLY DOODLY WOODLY SHNICK SHNACK BICRACKLE KIDOWWOW BOOM plop.

Sinking in 1975[edit]

Ella Fitzgerald sank in Lake Superior in 1975 carrying a shipment of iron ore. Her final words were "Doowop Doowop Doowop Doowop Doowop Doowaaaaaahhh!" as she was hit by torpedoes fired by Gerald Ford's secret stealth love boat.

The Defeat of Communism[edit]

Witnesses report a zombified Fitzgerald swooning East Germans into bashing down the Berlin wall, leading to the end of communism. Critics point out that Louis Armstrong was also at the scene.