David Zowie
David "I'm Honestly not trying to be David Bowie" Zowie is an English "DJ" known for writing the famous piece of "music:" House Every Weekend.
Early Life[edit]
He was born in Chatham, in Kent, to a family of seventeen Bowie look-alikes and was coincidentally their fifteenth son named David.
At the age of 12, Zowie bought a wooden leg and a spliff using the £17 that his family had left, and left home to write music.
It was only until 2 years later that he realized the music was complete arse, so he returned to his family, only to find that they had joined the fascist movement. Zowie was not seen for five years, until he was found on the coast of Dungeness, three dead Bowie look-alikes surrounding his unconscious body.
Previous Career Choices and the run up to becoming a DJ[edit]
In the mid to late 90s, Zowie was a member of the notorious Chatham 'hit and run' gang known as 'The Osbournes,' Zowie himself earning the title of 'Sharon' by performing fifteen successful malicious attacks in a time frame of two weeks, thus becoming Ozzy 'Ozzy' Osbourne's right hand man. Around this time, the two formed a successful 'Doom Metal' band known as the 'Puffy Clouds,' with Ozzy on tambourine and Zowie on triangle. The Puffy Clouds had a successful tour around the east side of Chatham, before Ozzy was jailed for false impersonation. Zowie thus became a solo artist, and played at small clubs such as 'Barbara's Front Lawn' and 'The Underpass under the Roundabout.' It wasn't until 2010, after abandoning his career as a professional triangle player, that Zowie realized he wanted to be a Dick Jockey.
Discography[edit]
Bowie first came to the attention of the public in July 1969 Zowie wrote his most famous and currently only song: 'House Every Weekend' by pressing some buttons on a keyboard and breaking up a vinyl or something. In short the song got to Number 1 in the UK and nobody is really sure why.
In July 2015 it was announced that the song was to be featured on Now That's What I Call Bullshit! 91, as the third track on the second disk. Quite how much Zowie paid "Now" is currently unknown.