Counterpoint
“Counterpoint is analogous to when two or more people talk simultaneously and you can't understand what the fuck they are talking about.”
“If people didn't understand counterpoint, it would be necessary to invent it.”
Counterpoint is when two or more voices are in a relationship with each other, but not necessarily a platonic one. Considering the case of two voices, they may be different in contour and rhythm (termed straight voices), or they may be more or less the same (termed gay voices). When more than two voices join in the same bar(in music, bars are a scientific way to measure if a composer is alcoholic(many bars per composition) or not(less bars per composition)), I forgot what I was talking about. Oh yeah, when more than two voices join in the same bar then the relationships are not clear. Maybe they are cheating on each other.
Early life[edit]
Counterpoint was developed during the baroque period(1600 - 1750) as means to communicate things that could not be expressed with language. For example, the word "H%$H$fsbfwW" was impossible to pronounce without mistake, and that's the reason counterpoint was developed. After becoming 18, counterpoint decided to make trips around the world in a boat.
Representatives[edit]
Counterpoint has many representatives, most notably the Devil's advocate Keanu Reaves who helped her sell her soul to the devil.
Another one is Johann Sebastian C. P. E. W. F. C. F. Bach (usually abbreviated JSCPEWFCFB) with whom she married after her trip to Germany and they lived happily ever after...until she divorced him after Bach suffered a mental breakdown, and went on a fugue(see Johann Sebastian Bach).
The use of counterpoint really stopped during the Classical period, mainly because Mozart found it very easy (being a genius and all) and laughed at it, as demonstrated by the photo below.
Later Years[edit]
After ruining the lives of young students, counterpoint decided to go on a trip to Amazon, with her evil pet dog as her companion. Since that time noone has ever seen her again, but the fact that she was last seen in the Amazon river, and that she doesn't have an evil pet dog, most certainly points to the fact that she was eaten alive by cannibals.
Why use counterpoint[edit]
Many composers questioned the fact that counterpoint should be used. Although illegal in the modern world, using her was just a matter of skill for the composers of the baroque era. Skilled composers could use her for days without giving it a rest, and when they were finally done, they rested and lended her to their friends. After all, Bach's contrapuntal abilities are demonstrated in his works for solo organ. His organ was capable of using counterpoint for several hours. Bach was extremely proud but did not gain much recognition since most of his audience did not like these kinds of things(see Germans).
Counterpoint in modern usage[edit]
Although counterpoint died, it was not until Nikola Tesla's attempts at reviving the dead that counterpoint was back to kill the talents and abilities of even more students. Even Plato had discussed about such matters "Counterpoint is really difficult to handle, and kills the talents and abilities of even more students", but skeptics argue about the validity of the quote since counterpoint left plato when he asked to kiss her(according to greek traitor and reporter , Pythagoras).
How come counterpoint isn't so funny[edit]
Counterpoint herself is a very lame person and doesn't like publicity. That's why noone knows she exists. But certainly, and more to the point, counterpoint is still widely used by geeks and people with insomnia who have nothing better to do.
Counterpoint's name[edit]
The term counterpoint comes from the fact that counterpoint counted points. Up until her death, counterpoint measured more than 18 billion points, and has been thought of as the major guiness record record breaker, for breaking her record 17.999.999.999 times, and is a guiness world record champion for that record breaking performance.The photograph below is allegedly proof of an aid counterpoint used for counting points.
Species[edit]
The species in which counterpoint belongs to is known as Homo Ipopotamous(from the Greek word Ιπποπόταμος, hippo) because, like bach, she was a fatty. Her origins are uncertain but some claim she fell from the moon based on a picture found in George Washington's pocket. Many wonder what the picture was doing there in the first place...
