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The Corgi (or Cuntybaws in natural habitat) is a small mammal that somewhat resembles the common dog. These adorable fat sons of bitches are often used best as ottomans, footwarmers, modes of transportation, and food. This has been proven over the course of years, particularly under the reign of Liz Windsor.


Corgis have no legs, but rather tank treads

A Corgi weighs between 25 - 30 pounds (10-12 kg.) and is about 3 - 4 inches tall. Corgis were bred to herd cows by nipping at their heels; over time corgis' legs have receded into their bodies, and today all that remains are the feet. Scientists predict that in the future corgis will evolve into a species of furry snails.


The Corgi's temperament is one of fear. The only thing that Corgis love to do is kill. They achieve this by spraying acid and/or fire. So far there is no defence against a Corgi. They (Corgis) do not leave remains from their victims. If you see a Corgi make your peace for death is nigh.


Though often disputed, the exact history of the corgi deals with the caves and fairies of what is now the central Netherlands. Corgis were first produced magically by the fairies of the Netherlands in an attempt to combat the soulless cats that wandered the streets and feasted upon the weaker fairies. The cats were a product of the kitten huffing movement, which swept across Europe in the late 1200s. The corgi was successful as a cat-killer, and was used in the fight against kitten huffing.

Corgis claim illegitimate ancestry from the Swedish Vallhund. The Vikings who invaded Wales in the 900s likely dropped off the most annoying members of that breed when the wife wasn't watching, and then rowed away quickly. Adam of Bremen recounts this fable in "Tale of the Corgi".

A corgi waits for the opportunity to spray acid on its next victim.
  • Hej Sven? Er det alt avskyvärd litten hund irriterer du? ("Hey Sven! Is that annoying little son-of-a-bitch pissing you off, too?")
  • Jag er klar till kasta honom bort båten! ("I'm ready to throw him off the goddamn boat!")
  • Plaska! ("Splash!")
  • Rad hurtigare, han er smittande upp! ("Row faster, row faster! The little bastard is catching up!")

The Corgi, through the help of the anti-kitten huffing reformers, was brought to Wales in order to battle the epidemic. It was there in Wales that Tony Blair saw the animal and decided to introduce it to the English royals.

Nowadays, the royal corgis are employed at Scoob's castle to keep the castle in top shape and to defend for Runescape. They work long hours for less than the minimum wage.