Comma splice
A comma splice is when two (or three, or four, or more) sentences are joined by a comma, it is a piece of prestigous grammar used by many "power users" of the English language, such as Dickens, Pamela Anderson, and Facebook addicts.
Uses[edit]
The comma splice is used when the writer can't be arsed to put a full stop or conjunction word, therefore needing to use a comma, and the comma splice is a very advanced technique, say if everyone used it then no one would need to take English at school, and although it is so advanced some "old fashioned" teachers prefer to deduct marks for using the comma splice, indeed in some cases it would be an automatic "zero."
Comma Splice Patrol[edit]
Fortunately, there is a Comma Splice Patrol, a special breed of Grammar Nazi, and it is based in Afghanistan, and has branches in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Geneva, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Great Britain, and pretty much every other nation where at least one human being is aware of the existence of the English language, the Patrol's main aim in life is to catch and annihilate all who do not use comma splices, this is because they were originally frustrated high-school students who couldn't even finish school because they spent a lot of their "spare" time on Facebook, and their organization is vast and powerful.
Remediation[edit]
Anyone can get rid of a comma splice, all you have to do is use these steps:
- Use a conjunction word: and, but, so, therefore, ergo-i.e., type-o'-thing, etc.
- Use a semi-colon, it is "the one with the tail."
History[edit]
The comma splice was invented in 1939 by Joseph Stalin, his amazing example sentence was, It is nearly half past five, we cannot reach town before dark, and after Stalin, the next comma splice enthusiast was in fact Pamela Anderson, her example sentence was, I love Borat Sandiyev, I hate Borat Sandiyev.