Cannabutter

Cannabutter is very closely related to I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, and the only thing in common is that IT IS NOT BUTTER, and if you think it is, then you are a dumbass.

History

Cannabutter was first created in 1256 BC (NOT B.C.E.!) by one of two conflicting tribes: the Cannibals, against the Vegetarians (shortened to "vegans"), who originated in the region around Turkey (they made "I can't believe it's not Butter"). The two tribes could not figure out how to agree on one recipe for butter, which resulted in the Butter Wars and the Opium Wars. Finally, after 47 years of indecisive warring, both tribes came to an agreement to create their own product, and sell it to see who's was best. This agreement has continued until the present, with no signs of stopping.

Preparation

Cannabutter was created by cannibals to capture the true essence of man in a delicious buttery treat (as opposed to smoking it). There are some who still make it in its traditional ways.

Originally, the recipe was shrouded in secrecy and was handed down from elder tribal shamans to the younger shamans so they could make it for public distribution throughout international supermarkets. In recent years, the recipe has finally come out into the open: The following is probably the only drop of truth in the whole article:

The first step in cooking magical marijuana-laced foods is extracting the cannabinoids (THC, CBD, and many many more) from the plant matter, usually in an oil/fat/butter-based solution, since the cannabinoids do not readily dissolve in water. It came from a little book called _The Art and Science of Cooking with Cannabis_, by Adam Gottlieb, originally published in 1974. Gottlieb calls the product of the extraction 'CANNABUTTER'.

The procedure is actually very simple. He brings a pot of water to a rolling boil, then puts a small amount of butter in the water. Quickly, the butter melts, and mixes in with the water because the whole mixture is at a rolling boil.

Then he puts the weed in and boils it. (Of course, he separates all the seeds first so he can plant them in the nearby park.) Now all the grass is riling around with the water and butter, and get this: The cannabinoids dissolve into the butter, while most of the nasty flavors and gook dissolve into the water. He stirs the stuff regularly. After cooking the grass like this for a while (say, half an hour), his kitchen really smells incriminating. He prepares a bowl and something like a funnel lined with cheese-cloth, or a cheese-cloth bag. You can buy cheese-cloth at the grocery store: it will catch the vegetable matter, keeping it out of the bowl, into which you pour the butter/water mixture. Squeeze as much liquid as possible out of the cheese-cloth. If you really want to, you could keep the now-hopefully-impotent bud, but I've always just pitched it.

Allow your butter/water to settle and cool (I refrigerate it). The butter will rise to the top, and can be lifted out, but I usually am not satisfied with all the particles of butter that remain, so I run the water through a piece of cheesecloth and try to catch some of it. Anyway, that green gunk is butter, and you can spread it on your toast, make a sandwich with it, or cook with it. About two "pats" of butter stone me pretty well, but your mileage may vary. I usually try to disguise the taste with something like a pepperoni and garlic pesto cheese on rye sandwich, but your tastes _probably_ vary ;-)

Uses

The cannabutter can be used just like butter, in brownies, on garlic bread, or mixed with honey on your finger!

Although this method takes longer than the usual saute-n-strain method, it has several advantages:

• As explained above, the nasty shit is separated and removed from the fun shit.
• You can make stronger cannabutter than by saute-ing, because you can cook more grass in the same amount of butter, due to the extra volume of the water.
• There is no danger of burning the precious, price-inflated, hard and dangerous to obtain herb, as there is when you saute, because the water keeps the whole mixture at boiling temperature!

If I have given any incorrect information, please correct the article, so I can learn.

oh, I don't think that heating for 1 hour will break down the THC: brownies and breads are usually baked longer, and they seem just fine ;-) I suppose that one does want to avoid _extreme_ heat, though... like open flame ;-) Anyway, I made my butter in a double-boiler, which is sort of a saucepan full of water, with another saucepan that mates on top of it, so that the bottom of one covers the top of the other (I went out and bought a very nice Revereware double-boiler recently, but I digress). So, in the bottom boiler, you put water, enough, say, that you have only an inch or two between the water and the bottom of the second boiler. In the second boiler, put 1 quart of water, 1/4 oz, and a stick of butter. Simmer the stuff over low heat for a few hours, at least: I waited till it turned brownish. (the double boiler keeps direct heat away from the stuff, so it's used to cook heat-sensitive foods such as eggs and butter, without burning them).