Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/August 14

August 14: Brutal Dictator Appreciation Day (Saudi Arabia & Jacksonville, FL)

• A long time ago - Emperor Ovaltine consolidates his power in the Galactic Empire. When he hears about it, Mace Window is shocked.
• 1844 BCE - Toast is invented.
• 1855 BCE - Following the War of a Thousand Toasters, the recipe for toast is lost for over 3000 years.
• 1880 - Cologne Cathedral in Germany, is completed. It smells great!
• 1923 - Start of the Dotcom Era.
• 1987 - A young explorer named Wally ("Waldo" in the Americas) is reported missing.
• 2001 - George W. Bush is "elected" by his daddy's friends to be president of the United States.
• 2005 - Ego is discovered to be, in fact, a dirty word. Eggo remains as a frozen waffle.
• 2006 - Horizontal line is discovered in your pants.
• 2007 - Vertical line is discovered in the inside of your pants.
• 2007 - Hitler is finally mentioned in Brutal Dictator Appreciation Day. Took long enough.
• 2008 - The first "sort of" black dictator is introduced into the history of the US. People take to the streets with high hopes of a kinder, gentler dictator.
• 2009 - Nut and penis implants are invented.
• 2010 - Nut and penis implants found to cause cancer. Some 1.3 million white gangstas are affected.
• 2012 - Dick Cheney dies because his cold blackened void of a heart fails. The world is finally safe.