Make Money Fast
Using a "revolutionary" course that our scientists worked on for 10 years, this course will teach you ways to make gazillions of dollars in an instant. Through this revolutionary course trusted by many selling professionals you will learn how to sell and invest in those big dollar deals, and of course, make money. During the course of this program, you will turn from a poor meaningless slob who can afford only $1.00 worth of candy, to a rich strapping young lad who can afford up to $2.00 worth of candy. After joining and graduating our class you will receive a personalized certificate naming you as a graduate of our class. Making you certified to earn lots and lots of dineros,
It could be your name on that certificate. It could be you! Do you want to be certified to earn a lot of money at a fast rate? Do you want to get out of the slowlane and into the fastlane? Do you want to stop being poor and start being rich? Do you want me to stop using cliched puns? THEN LOOK AT ALL YOU WILL BE DOING IN OUR PROGRAM!
Marketing[edit]
You will learn the important marketing techniques that are used by major corporations right now. Using the techniques that famous CEO's have used, you'll become as rich as Richie McRich who became rich by using the techniques he taught during his course and who has since bought a "super-space-mansion-yacht" using the gazillions that he earned. He has made a living for himself in the live heat of outer space. It could be you!
Well you might be thinking, "Should I do it slowly and carefully?" The answer to that would be no. The correct answer is to spam "Do it as fast as possible." You're trying to get rich quickly, not get poor slowly. And how are you going to get rich quickly, you ask? Well, we have provided for you on your instructional DVD a program that will help you market faster. Just install and enter your product details and you're done. Now just sit back and let the program do it's job.
If for some reason the program suddenly fails and you're left not earning a lot of money it is recommended that you panic, as you are becoming poorer by the second. If you want to stop panicking, IM some friends, email some friends, tell people out on the street about your deals and this program. Be persistent as possible, you want to look desperate if you want more money. Once you see money flowing down from the sky, you'll know that your money train has started up again and that you're earning money again. You might want to make sure that someone else supports you in your money making journey. Try sending emails to your friends with that special little program that says. makemoneyfast.exe, and your friends will make you the richest person in the town in mere minutes.
Financial Advice[edit]
As a part of the program, you will receive guaranteed advice that will make you more valuable than any other valuable treasure on earth. In fact, you too can become rich by investing in our highly trusted investors. Investors such as the "Make us you Rich Foundation", which is hard at work on the next instalment of Make Money Fast. Which, with your investments, will be released in 2009 in 2012.
You can also invest a lot of money in the next best thing, Potato Fashion. The idea is that clothes will be sprayed with the scent of potatoes, which (in theory), should get you laid. The idea is in the dumps currently, but with your investment, you can bring it up to make it profitable. And don't worry, there's going to be something for you.
You get 5 times the profits, which means that in one month you will be gaining 25 times more then you ever were! And in 6 months, you will be giving back 100 times more, leaving you in horrible, suicide inducing debt you will be rich beyond your wildest dreams. It's that easy. You can also invest in the Real Estate market, which we will address in the next section.
Real Estate[edit]
The Real Estate market is booming right now and is a great place to invest your money. Forget all those people who say that the Real Estate market is failing right now, the real estate market has never been as booming as it is today. Who doesn't like the idea of investing in Real Estate? People need to live, and they need to house to live in. It's obvious that the more money you have to spend on a house, the more money you'll get. It's so simple.
And since it's so simple, we recommend you invest 50% of everything you own two times into this market. Since homes are cool to buy and live in, we predict that many more people will buy houses now and that you will have money in the bank by tomorrow. Our analysts are never wrong, except when predicting the weather.
Everyone recommends that you should invest in multiple markets. From California to Arizona to Orlando, they all have one thing that makes them worth investing in. FANCY HOUSES! Everyone knows that the fancier the house, the more you will get paid, and that's true. Every one of those houses have been sold at nearly $755,000, times that with the number of houses being sold and look at that, you could earn $96,640,000 just by investing in Real Estate.