Why?:Why TM?
|
Why? This article is part of Uncyclopedia's Why? series. See more Why's? |
“Why do birds suddenly appear every time you're near?”
The first recorded use of the question Why was by an inanimate rock that was picked up by the first man. The rock thought to itself "WHY™ is this cave man about to feed me to his pet rock?". Since then WHY™ has been used by numerous objects in various situations. Each time the word WHY™ has been used since that time a fee of $10 has to be paid to the original owner of the word. Philosophers since have tried in vain to develop new ways of asking WHY™ without using the word WHY™. This monopoly of the word WHY™ has caused a decline in philosophical thinking.
WHY™'s alter ego[edit]
Why has been known to disguise itself as the letter Y, and even occasionally its lowercase counterpart. Why Why does this is at present unknown, and philosophers and scientists alike are addressing just why Why doesn't just stay as Why. One advantage of Why disguising itself as Y is that people can now ask questions without using the dreaded WHY™, by simply saying "Y does ...?" However, this guy has recently claimed the copyright to Y, and his brother that guy has claimed the copywrong to y, meaning that to ask a question you must either pay the aforementioned rock, this guy or that guy. Of course, if you decide to pay this guy, he'll probably give you some free kittens to huff, so I'd go with him if I were you.
WHY™ in recent times[edit]
The word "WHY™" is rarely used anymore, it is now customary in public forums to repond to a "WHY™ question" by saying "UHHH, I dunno," "whatev...," or "just shut up, I mean comon!" or in rare cases reverse psychology will be used to defer free thought, an example being, "WHY™ do you care so much?"
The reason WHY™ WHY™ has become so unpopular may be due to the introduction of Communism in the U.S.A, causing the decline of free-thinkers, with people often labeling them as "hippies". People in these times say WHY™ is not relevant anymore, preferring to be generally passive/aggressive on issues, making either submissive, declaritive statements or exclamatory, imperative statements when regarding issues. Deciding to either do nothing about their poor state of being, or all-out demand that something change, thus putting an end to the civilized conversation.
Use of WHY™ in everyday language[edit]
General[edit]
- Why?
- Why bother?
- Why lie?
- Why oh why?
- Why would I care?
- Why doesn't anyone else care about ____?
- Why? ... that is the question.
- Why does this kind of thing always happen to me? MEEEEE!!!
Philosophical[edit]
- Why was I born?
- Why was the universe created?
- Why are my parents abusive and alcoholic?
Human Body[edit]
- Why do I have an appendix?
- Why do I have tonsils?
- Why was I born a man?
- Why was I born a woman?
- Why did that badger chew off my big toe?
Love[edit]
- Why do you love me?
- Why don't you love me?
- Why can't you just love her?
- Why be such a monster?
- Why do I cry after sex?