amputation

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English

Noun

Amputation (plural Amputations)

1. (Quackery) A simple, non-invasive cure for any minor aches or pains one suffers from. For instance, in a case involving heartache, the body is amputated at the base of the neck and again at the diaphragm and the middle section, commonly referred to as the thorax, is removed. The head and abdomen are then taped or glued together, if the patient so desires. The procedure for headaches is simpler, with the exception of migraines where the surgeon will, in most cases, remove the head with a file so as to cause the patient as little pain as possible.