Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/adjectives
adjectives[edit]
Dragonman101 20:23, 20 March 2009 (UTC)
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Projectmayhem666-has stamped this article for review. |
| Humour: | 5 | This is my first review in a while so here goes. The introduction could be longer and could also be funnier, your definition could do with an expansion, try writing out the dictionary definition of an adjective and then give a few examples, the style of the examples however should be a short list of humorous one liners. For inspiration listen to I like to say Fuck by the Murderdolls, just the intro.
In the next section, a shorter heading maybe an option here, the long name is slightly unnecessary. The style of this article is a little unorthadox, you should take a read of HTBFANJS before you rewrite this. The article has alot of CAPS overuse, which just isn't cocher. If you want to emphasise something, make it bold or italic, this way it looks alot more like a real article. I'm not going through all the sections as alot of mistakes are just repeated and as you know my wrist is broken. The language used does not work at all for something of this nature, you need to write a serious article using satire for humour as opposed to using slapstick or silliness. If you write it more seriously this will become much more funny. |
| Concept: | 6 | Concept 4/5, implementation 2/5 - Not implemented very well due to the style it is written in. Can be corrected by HTBFANJS as well as writing more like an actual article. |
| Prose and formatting: | 4 | Opening this article with a heading, a sub heading then one line isnt a good idea, it makes the formatting look messy and UnArticle like.
Grammar wise. "describe emotions, colors sounds, and any other kind of description" should have a comma after colours, which should have a u in it but you're probably American and can't speak real English. All in all grammar isn't that bad at all, its the format used makes it look messy and not very article like. |
| Images: | 7 | Images are great, all except the Ghandi one, otherwise I like the images as they are. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6 | Averaged as if by Majik :p |
| Final Score: | 28 | Alot of potential and good for a first article. Please read HTBFANJS and post a new rewrite to be reviewed. |
| Reviewer: | --—The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 12:16, 2 April 2009 (UTC) | |
urm... this is my first article and i could use some advice from the pros on editing it and elaborating it before it is mercilessly deleted... thanks