Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Thekillerfroggy/UnNews:Disco never died!
User:Thekillerfroggy/UnNews:Disco never died![edit]
| Prose | Concept | Humour | Images | Misc | Score | Summary |
Reviewer details:[edit]
A little bit about the reviewer before we start.
All my life I've wanted to play the lead role in Swan Lake, but they tell me that I'm not dark enough to play the black swan. I'm hoping that life experiences will transform me to be able to play the role with conviction.
Prose and Formatting:[edit]
How good does it look and how well does it read? 7
Writing style
Good writing style, in as far as it encapsulated the ranting of an angry disco hater at the latter day revival of disco. It felt convincing enough to say that it could have been written by someone lamenting the return of a music style that degenerated at one stage to videos of Cliff Richards and Olivia Newton John on roller skates.
Spelling
Spelling is good. Only issue - if it can be called that is in at least one spot you dropped off capitalizing disco as a proper noun.
Grammar
Grammar is about par for an early to mid teen essay. The advantage in writing in this kind of voice is minor issues in grammar can be ignored. It flows like a spoken piece - albeit a hate comic at an open mic night, so all is good.
Layout
It's an UnNews, but I'll cone back to this.
Overall appearance
Reads okay, looks okay. Nothing hitting the wow button but nothing hitting the urgh button either. Average.
Concept[edit]
How good an idea is behind the article? 5.5
it's a bit of a messy concept. Is it a school assignment or a news piece? Is it a semi-autobiographical or purely allegorical?
I'm struggling to find where this would fit into the various namespaces. It's not the first article of it's type but the first I can think of that's not mainspaced. I've even used the "homework" theme for Tropical cyclone. But then the topicality of it suggests an UnNews.
There are only two solutions that I can think of that would clear up what I feel is a concept issue. First is to keep it as an UnNews but change the "frame" to make it look as though it's a school newspaper. I'd then either remove the teachers comment, or change it to something about winning an in-school competition about repealling the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, or something similar.
The second option is to create an "UnHomework" namespace as a faux namespace like the UnDebate namespace. I would steer away from this though, as I really don't want encourage a bundle of copycat articles.
The issue I alluded to before comes down to the teachers comment. The look of it draws the eye, and that section breaks the feel of the rest of it.
I don't like this section. The article would be better without it, but without it the rest needs cleaning up to make it into an Op-Ed instead of a school assignment.
The overall idea of Disco being an individual who has come back from the grave is something worth writing an article on, but while this reaches towards being a fantastic concept, it's not quite there.
Humour[edit]
How funny is it? Why is it funny? How can it be funnier? 6.5
Not much I can add to this that I haven't already covered. Humorous lines in there, but concept lets it down.
Images[edit]
How are the images? Are they relevant, with good quality and formatting? 8
I really love the images here. Very odd but somehow suits the rest. Not that the images are more valuable the the prose, but while I can fault the prose I can't fault the choice of images. The first image could probably do with a little tweaking, but the idea and composition work brilliantly.
Miscellaneous[edit]
The article's overall quality - that indefinable something. 7.5
I've been over critical, and this is edging in FA territory, and depending on the whim of the voters potentially would be FA as it is, as it's been a while since we've had a homework article so it may be novel enough to be picked up.