Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Mordillo/Roak Band - Teutonic Invasion
User:Mordillo/Roak Band - Teutonic Invasion[edit]
One of the slowest gestating collabs in history, based on a typo originally, and closing on a year old now. So I figured it was time for some feedback: Mainspace? Cut our losses? Keep as an in-joke between me and Mordillo? Actually do more to it? What? Oh yeah, PEEING members only please. --UU - natter 
20:55, Sep 25
- Haz it been a yaar already Her Unter? Vell zen, it is time to wrap it up. BLITZKRIEG! ~
00:05, September 27, 2009 (UTC)
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This article is under review by <font-weight:bold>Gerry Cheevers. Sayeth Gerry: shotgun!! |
that's right, boys and girls, gerry is back to reviewing. if i don't get to this tonite i'll give it the standard once-over tomorrow afternoon. 06:51, September 26, 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 8 | average of section scores
ha, i love the intro, the german voice was effective without being too difficult to interpret or being overly annoying. the setup is a little strange, as you rarely see 'introduction' as a header...
excellent, i'm enjoying this quite a bit. if 'zeben' and 'zwei' are 7 and 3 then you might want to link to the numbers to avoid confusion; this goes for any words that might be a little fuzzy in the translation. it seems a tad short though - some beefing up with other examples of bands or other details would serve well, perhaps.
haha, great stuff here. might there be more than one strum bar on appropriate difficulty levels? slamming the guitar into someone's head got quite the chuckle from me. i love the chart, it fits very well and doesn't break up the flow of the article very much, if at all. is the color blindness link supposed to be both a different color and broken? perhaps a few more special features, like unlockable characters/guitars/extras, would round off the section nicely.
way to make me eat my own words, jerks. anyway, this section was brilliant, but i think you need one more; three special characters would seem to be the perfect amount. you mention that 'most' of the women were removed...perhaps you could mention the ones remaining?
and i see you've fed me my words again by mentioning the lady-folk remaining in the game. anyway, this section was good, but it seemed to lack a proper ending. perhaps another paragraph after that long quote concerning future releases, fan reactions, or some other thing would wrap up the article overall a little better. |
| Concept: | 9.5 | 5/5 points for a deserving parody of a well-known subject. the rock band games are huge, and their underlying germanic tones are begging for a wise-ass retort.
4.5/5 points for execution. i really did enjoy the german narration and the overall approach, which was still very encyclopedic. perhaps one or two loud outbursts wouldn't be too much, but as far as the article overall goes, i think you guys pretty much nailed it. i honestly can't think of much to say as far as what i didn't like, which hopefully translates to a very good article. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | a few issues, nothing major. the beginning seems formatted weird, with the 'intro' header and lonely quote and a little whitespace. i don't mind the list-y thing, as it works well, but maybe think about tacking on an image next to it to fill in the gap, and maybe get rid of the 'intro' header altogether, as it is a bit redundant. i noticed a few times that words leading sentences didn't seem to be capitalized, particularly small german-ized ones (zer), so maybe take a look at it more carefully and make sure anything like that is intentional. |
| Images: | 8 | love the cover art, particularly the huge drummer. second image works well. peter schmeichel was good. otto von bismarck was great, but the hoff was a tad small. the last image also works very well. as i said before, maybe another one up the top would work, but otherwise you've done a fine job with the images. |
| Miscellaneous: | 8.1 | averaged via magic |
| Final Score: | 40.6 | my preview button tells me that your final score is 40.6. i have to say that this one's going in my vault of favorites, and i look forward to a final polished version. i would certainly nom and vote for this. i think you're just a few tweaks, a little extra content in select places, and a proper closing away from a true classic. good job! |
| Reviewer: | 23:26, September 26, 2009 (UTC) | |