Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnBooks:Uncyclopedia Brown and Wikipedia Brown solve the mystery of the missing smugglers and their hidden cave or something
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Wrote this "today" (May 30). I don't know if it would work as an unbook or unscript, I don't know if it makes sense, and I don't know if it's funny or if the concept works. This is an ambitious review for any up-and-coming steel kidney.
I'll take any level of reviewer, but don't waste my time... thanks. • <6:25 May 31, 2009>
Let down your hopes, eh? |
- I can't get this right now, but I will in the next day. So stay back! Hsssssss... Staircase CUNt 08:32, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
- Looking forward to it, stairs! • <14:39 May 31, 2009>
Humour: | 8.5 | We'll break it down, chapter by chapter for review quality. (Trust me it's better this way. Also note how I said trust me, this means believe me, or I will rip of your left arm. Or right. Whatever is your dominant arm)
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Concept: | 8.5 | It's a good idea, and a different one too. It's definitely out of the ordinary, and the more creatie the better. Also, great job at making wikipedia inferior and looking like a real retard. I praise you for that. Also, having them look up the end was positively fantastic(!), as well as them going to the LCH. Cunning. However, like I said above, in the endig chapter you leave questions unanswered. To seal those holes up, you could just write the answers down in one quick sentence, like "It turns the smugglers weren't involved at all. They were busy vactioning in Figi" or something. Just make sure to answer the questions. Once you do that, everything will be fine and dandy. So, um, good job or something. |
Prose and formatting: | 7 | Ouch. My eyes. This was particularly tough for me to read, and that is beacuse you had random bits of bolded terms just for emphsis. I suggest what you do is just leave them be. You could always, instead of bolding them, make a link to the particular article where you got the information from. That would make it easier to read, and much more pleasant on my eyes. But other than that, I have no real compliants for you in this area. COntent levels are fine, and it was clearly specified when someone was talking. Also, few spelling mistake (I think there were two), and a good amount of links. Just get rid of the bold terms here, and were on to a winner. |
Images: | 6 | Ok. The one image that you do have is pretty good. Well made, except you didn't specify that the article was written by Oscar Wilde. May I suggest doing that? I looked at the picture, and saw "By Oscar Wilde" and said, "I don't think this one is by him". So clear that part up. Also, this article is sort of long, so you will definitely need more than one picture. Definitely. I definitely think you should get someone to make a picture of Jimmy, so Uncyclopedia Brown isn't all by himself. Also, might I suggest a picture of the LCH down near the bottom? This will be good. But overall, I suggest two more pictures, and if you're feeling weiird or high something weird, you could add three. But I think at least wo images. |
Miscellaneous: | 7.5 | See Below. |
Final Score: | 37.5 | So, let's go through the bsic things you need to do as emphasized in the pee review:
Overall, good article, with a little bit of polishing here and there, you could make this into a real winner and get another feature. That would be elevnty billion, right? I think so. So, good uck with that! |
Reviewer: | Staircase CUNt 16:39, 31 May 2009 (UTC) |