Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass
The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass[edit]
This article got deleted recently, because I wasn't paying attention to the Maintenance Tag, which had a time limit, apparently. Anyway, the delectable admin, Lyrithya helped me give another chance. So I thought best to get this thing Pee Reviewed so we can see in which direction it needs to go. Let's be honest; I've kind of run out of steam and am kind of recycling jokes I've used before on other Zelda articles. Wolf ODonnell 21:07, July 7, 2011 (UTC)
| Humour: | 6 | Well, I find it hard to comment on this. What I find disturbing is that there is no theme in the article; first it's about Nintendo being a big selfobsessed company, then about the game resembling and recycling other Zelda games, but there's also something referring to paedophiles. And sometimes I see a 'man this game is unrealistic'-theme, could be great as well!
I would pick one of these themes and carry them through the entire article. For instance instead of the Sea Temple you could call it the NinTemple or whatever. Also, what needs improving is the character names (No Shoes? Really?), they have no link (badum-tsj) with eachother. A personal favorite joke of mine would be to link Link to various articles. |
| Concept: | 4 | Mainly because there is no theme. Pick a theme and stick with it. If you'd stick to one theme this article would improve big-time. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | This could use more enters and less numbers really, would make it lots easier to read. Also try not to use too many names in one sentence, it makes it hard to understand. (For the record, I know the story and it was even for me gibberish). And you misspelled Ganondorf in the quote, on purpose? If it's on purpose I don't get the joke. |
| Images: | 7 | Apart from the MJ-joke, that is getting old really (and Lineback was my favorite character! How dare you!). The picture of the player abusing the namegiving (aka Fagballs picture) made me chuckle really. The boob-picture can be more clear (or just draw a penis) and I couldn't read what was on the graffiti - was it supposed to be that way? |
| Miscellaneous: | 6 | I feel this article is missing its potential. It's certainly there, but I can't see it clearly yet. |
| Final Score: | 30 | ~This has great potential, young Skywalker. Just pick a theme and stick with it, I'd go for the 'this game is unrealistic' or 'this game is another Zelda copy' theme. Paedophiles are getting a little old. |
| Reviewer: | SirBobo 14:57, July 8, 2011 (UTC) | |
Disturbing? I only stopped doing the Nintendo thing because I thought that would get really old, really quick. But if you think I should sprinkle some more in there, then I guess I shall. Wasn't aware of the Gannondorf quote. I didn't write it. I think it refers to the first game where they misspelt Ganon as Gannon. Possibly. As for the graffiti, it was a real graffiti font. I picked it because it was the clearest available. It says "Link woz here". Thanks for the Link idea, though. Wolf ODonnell 11:35, July 9, 2011 (UTC)
Well I didn't say you should pick that theme, you should pick one theme and the Nintendo theme is certainly not the best one in my opinion, yet you should focus on one in stead of making it a melting pot of different themes. Good luck, I'm sure you can do it! SirBobo 13:49, July 9, 2011 (UTC)