Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Red Lobster (2nd Opinion)

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Red Lobster

In depth, please. Hope you enjoy!--You know what the music means... Our time is up. 01:09, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

Humour:	8	Clever satire, a unique subject, and a fair share of laughs and chuckles- all tell tale signs of a YKWTMM article. I liked how you presented Red Lobster as a superhero, and his rivals as competing restaurants. There are, however, a few flaws: first, I think you need to get a bit more in-depth with him as a person. What is the Red Lobster superhero character like? You need more detail beyond the inception of his powers and his superhero status- perhaps, a troubled past with other food industries, which made him pledge his allegiance to the one he's named after. Also, maybe competing food industries hurt his parents, Ala Bruce Wayne. There's also a few logical holes, which i'll get into below.
Concept:	7.5	I rather enjoyed your concept, as I think it's unique and can be the basis for a solid article. However, there are a couple of logical holes and other flaws I need to address. First, you said the comic was run in 1951. I'm all for making a quasi-50s superhero, but did Red Lobster (or Bonefish and Outback Steakhouse, for that matter) exist in 1951? If you're going to make a 50s superhero based on seafood restaurants, there are two plausible ways you can write: first, change the names of your superheroes' enemies to restaurants that existed in the late 40s and early 50s (you might need to do some research on this one), and make Red Lobster seem more old-stylish, possibly as an earlier form of the current one. OR, you could change the date from 1951 to something more modern, though it might be difficult to do this and keep your article's 50s style intact. The former is much easier and will make your article more presentable, but the latter could prop it up to VFH.
Prose and formatting:	7	I'm going to have to hit you on this one. While you clearly know how to spell, there are two main problems which drag the article down as a whole: first, you have an excess of red links. This, as you probably already know, makes your article look ugly, so i'd recommend check your article for red links and getting rid of them. Second, in the "Superpowers" section, you don't indent your dashes properly - for example, "The Chocolate Wave-See Below." should be "The Chocolate Wave- See below." Once you fix that, your article looks nicer.
Images:	8.5	Very nice and impressive; they tie into the article well, and I laughed at the chop' from Wikipedia. My only complaint is that there should be more of them. However, it's going to be hard, due to your article's size, too add more images and make not seem mashed together at the same time, so you might choose some smaller ones. I can recommend two ideas here- first, a picture of Red Lobster fighting one of his foes (might want to ask someone for help on that). Second, a picture of Red Lobster's girl (and while you're at it, expand on her profile as well).
Miscellaneous:	8	My overall grade of the article.
Final Score:	39	Basically, you've got a solid article with an interesting concept, but it's got a few glaring flaws which can be corrected. First, fix your concept so that it makes sense, as I explained in the Concept section. Second, come your article to remove excess red links and formatting errors. Finally, add a few more images, but be careful where you stick them, as to not make your article seem cluttered. This is a bit to rough to put on VFH atm, but if you spend some time bringing it up to code, you'd get my vote in a hearbeat. Bottom Line: Good article, excellent and unique foundation, needs some fine tuning. Good luck! =)
Reviewer:	Saberwolf116 02:13, 18 May 2009 (UTC)