Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Han Solo
Han Solo[edit]
TillDillBill(info/talk) 00:13, June 30, 2018 (UTC) Tried parodying the fact the Solo movie was re-branded in China. It was going okay until the end of the article and I'm not sure what the heck to do. Any suggestions to make it better would be great because I'm not out of ideas.
| Added 00:13, June 30, 2018 (UTC) |
Reviewed[edit]
How and why is it funny? Any suggestions?
I like that the humor arises naturally in the narrative rather than being random. The first of the two jokes that made me laugh hardest was this one:
"Jab-Na tried the cheque out and was promptly told by the ATM to contact IT support, as he'd crumpled it up to fit in his pocket and the machine couldn't read it."
The idea that Jab-Na would have this kind of problem "a long time ago in a galaxy far far away" is gold. Maybe you could run with this a bit more. Along similar lines, the fact that Episodes IV, V, and VI were made in the 70s and early 80s is fertile ground for some Zeerust-related humor.
The other of the two jokes that made me laugh the hardest was this one:
"Due to all of the illegal shenanigans and families being displeased with the effect the show was having on their kid, Ranger ended up in Diyu being sawn in half by demons for eternity."
I wish I could be more specific, but at the moment all I can say is recognize you have a talent for writing dark humor, and capitalize on it more.
I think the word "cult" indicates a missed opportunity for a good gag. Admittedly, I don't know any Chinese beyond "xie xie" (which, let me tell you, does not make it any easier to order a roast duck in a Chinese restaurant), but it seems unlikely to me that a word that has all the nuances of the English word "cult" has a Chinese equivalent. My suggestion is that you refer to the "cult" as a "religion" that is not approved by a certain in-universe body (inviting comparisons to phrases like "not approved by the Party" or "not approved by the State"). For maximum humorous effect juxtapose this with some descriptions of awful things that the "cult" had been doing, but choose your words in such a way that the reader knows that ultimately these had nothing to do with why it was deemed unacceptable.
How good is an idea behind the article?
The concept behind your article is interesting, and you used it consistently throughout.
How good does it look and how well does it read?
I think you used "begun" where you probably intended to use "began", and I think the phrase you want is "due to not accumulating enough years at the Corp".
There is nothing really wrong with "you don't" except to some asshole prescriptivist, but "one does not" better fits an encyclopedic tone.
How are the images? Are they relevant, with good quality and formatting?
I do not believe your article suffers for a lack of images.
The article's overall quality - that indefinable something.
With a little tweaking I would not be surprised to see your work become a featured article.
An overall summation of the article.
I have not seen all the films in the Star Wars franchise, most notably Solo, so take what I say here with a grain of salt.