Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Cocoa beach

Humour:	7	It's definately one to make you smile. The fight for the cocoa is well handled and amusing. From the point of "Other Points of Interest", the humour is less effective. It doesn't really match up with the first two-thirds of the article.
Concept:	8	I thought the concept of beaches made of cocoa seemed daft at first but I was won over by the clever story telling.
Prose and formatting:	6	Very good prose on the whole Cocoa story. As I mentioned in the Humour section, the last third doesn't cut it so pushes down the score.
Images:	4	Quite sparse, but the first two are effective. The picture of the rocket is entirely crap and needs to be removed.
Miscellaneous:	7	I would say the Cocoa story builds up well. The structure is good in the first two thirds of the article.
Final Score:	32	From "Other Points of Interest" onwards there needs to be SERIOUS editing in my opinion. This spoils what would otherwise be a very food article. In fact I suggest entirely deleting that last third and maybe thinking up some new sections. The Climate section is really really bad.
Reviewer:	The Oblong Lobster 18:48, 12 June 2007 (UTC)

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