Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 12

December 12: Unfunny Joke Day (US), Wooly Animal Molestation Day (Wales)

• 1594 - Pickle loaf first made with dill dough.
• 1806 - Napoleon keeps his armies up his sleevies – a French word for chocolates.
• 1862 - Three baby seals walk into a club.
• 1900 - A minister, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, not learning the lesson of baby seals 38 years before.
• 1929 - As a year, is really long and hard. That's what she said.
• 1933 - Hitler ties his shoes with little Nazis.
• 1945 - Joshua Ben Cohen discovers that finding half a worm in an apple is actually preferable to being a prisoner in Auschwitz.
• 1957 - Farmer Frank Peters in Kentuckistan leaves his gate open long enough for one of his chickens to cross the road.
• 1964 - Researchers for the American Horror Book Readers Organization discover that many "ghost writers" are employed to write tales that involve ghosts. There is much laughter all round at the irony of this fact.
• 1965 - A boy takes a ruler with him to bed to see how long he slept. When he awakes, Leonid Breznev, the General secretary of the Soviet Communist Party, hits his stopwatch and informs him that he slept for 9 hours and 35 minutes. He also tells the boy that there are easier ways of finding out these facts and to please not call him again.
• 1966 - Not learning his lesson, the boy takes a saddle to bed, in case he has nightmares. He is sent to a gulag.
• 1986 - So this guy comes into a bar, AW CRAP, sorry I said that wrong, it was suppose to be a donkey. So this guy comes into a donkey...
• 1987 - 3 men walk into a bar, one of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole joke plays out with a tedious inevitability.
• 2003 - A man has the left side of his body amputated. He's all right now.
• 2005 - Uncyclopedia is created by marmosets on LSD.