UnScripts:Marshmallow's Last Stand
This script art a part of
The UnScripts Project
Your personal Shakspearian folio of humor, love, woe and other silly emotions.
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Prologue[edit]
This cartoon is pretty old. It was the first cartoon they ever made. Homestar is not very funny and neither is Strong Bad. They are mere shadows of the men they have become. This cartoon has not been on the site for many months, but we have had several requests (from their Dad) to put it back. It is also a Part 2 from History of Homestar Runner. So here it is. Consider yourselves warned.
The Cafe[edit]
HOMESTAR RUNNER: These are some great marshmallows, eh, Pom Pom? ...Why don't you look over there, for no reason.
{Pom-Pom bubbles and looks away as Homestar sucks up Pom Pom's marshmallow. He chews it up and takes a bite of his own. Suddenly, heavy metal music plays in the background as Strong Bad and Strong Mad walk up.}
STRONG BAD: Oh, look at the babies! Eating their marshmallows.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uh-oh, it's The Brothers Strong, Strong Bad and Strong Mad!
STRONG BAD: You better believe it, man. We're the greatest tag team wrestlers in the world! {Strong Mad nods}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's great, Strong Bad! Have a good time.
POM-POM: {Bubbles over Homestar's line}
STRONG BAD: No, you morons. We're challenging you to the tag-team match!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hmm... no thanks.
{Both Strong Bad and Strong Mad get angry. They both growl.}
STRONG BAD: Hey, you gimme this!
{He takes Homestar's star from his shirt.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey! Gimme back my star!
STRONG BAD: Of course, but first you have to beat us in the ring!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: What do you say, Pom Pom, old friend?
POM POM: {bubbles in agreement}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: You're on!
The War for the Star[edit]
{Cut to outside a stadium. Crowds go in. A close-up of the door is shown, with a poster on it that says: "War for the Star Tonight!!! 8:30 PM". The scene changes to the ring.}
THE ANNOUNCER: {heavy echo} Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to The War for the Star! In this corner, at a combined weight of 1,000,000 pounds, hailing from Parts Unknown, The Brothers Strong, Strong Mad and Strong Bad!
{The Brothers Strong fall into the ring as their names is called}
THE ANNOUNCER: And now, the hometown favorites, with a combined weight of 104 pounds, Homestar Runner and Pom-Pom!
{A light shines on Homestar and Pom-Pom as their names is called.}
{The cheering crowd is shown, which consists of Mr. Bland, Señor, Marzipan, Bubs, Coach Z, The King of Town, The Poopsmith, The Robot, Strong Sad, and other various people. Señor is wearing a giant styrofoam hand; Mr. Bland is holding a sign that says "Wrestling Mania!!!"; and The Poopsmith is holding a sign that says "I'm #2". The bell rings and Homestar takes down Strong Bad with a flying kick to the head. Strong Bad gets up, but Homestar knocks him to the ground with the same kick, and then body slams him. Strong Bad, who is dizzy from said kick as stars spin around his head, tags in Strong Mad, who enters the ring.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uh-oh!
{Strong Mad grabs Homestar by the legs and proceeds to slam him on the ground. He tosses Homestar out of the ring. Pom-Pom gets angry and vaults over the top rope into the ring, but lands on Strong Mad's fist. Strong Mad beats him against the boxing ring floor repeatedly, and Pom-Pom falls over. Strong Mad climbs to the top turnbuckle and gets ready to deliver the finishing move.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Pom-Pom, look out!
POM-POM: {winks at Homestar}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Huh?
{Strong Mad jumps off the turnbuckle and splashes onto Pom-Pom, but is bounced into space. Strong Bad and Homestar re-enter the ring and Homestar bounces off of the ropes into Strong Bad, taking him out by smashing his head into Strong Bad's face. Strong Bad gets up. Cut to a close up of Homestar's face while music from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly starts playing with dark bars appearing up to his eyes. A close-up of Strong Bad with the same music and effect follows. He attempts a windmill punch, but Homestar kicks his stomach and tosses him out of the ring. Strong Bad grabs a lit bomb from under the ring while mumbling incoherently. He gets back into the ring and shoves the bomb down Homestar's throat and punches Homestar's belly.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Homestar's stomach gurgles} Ooh, I ate too many marshmallows...
{His face turns green and he pukes the bomb and some marshmallow goo onto Strong Bad's head, where it sticks.}
STRONG BAD: {running around frantically} AUGH! Get it off me, get it off me, get it off me!
{The bomb explodes. When the dust clears, Homestar is standing atop of Strong Bad. Strong Bad has a chunk missing from his head.}
THE ANNOUNCER: 1, 2, 3! {The crowd cheers. Strong Mad falls back into the ring.} Ladies and gentlemen, your winners, Homestar Runner & Pom-Pom!
{Cut to a black-and-white picture of Homestar Runner and Pom-Pom, labeled "Winners"}
Epilogue[edit]
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Now how about my star back, Strong Bad?
{Frustrated, Strong Bad tears up Homestar's star while muttering something inaudible, and Strong Mad nods. An angered Homestar then kicks Strong Bad, and a cartoon explosion with "BUH-LAM!!" written on it covers the screen. After it clears, Strong Bad is seen lying on the ground with stars of confusion floating around his head. Homestar kicks one of the stars to himself so he can grab it.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Voice echoing} Homestar, RUN!
{He jumps up and the star of pain becomes a star on his shirt}