UnScripts:Interview with a Nerd

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A spotty, fat guy with embarrassing glasses and a "I love π" T-shirt is approached by an average looking reporter type person.'

Reporter: Hello, sir, can I get a quick interview please?

Nerd: Heh heh... yeah.

Reporter: So, may I ask your name?

Nerd: Well, my RuneScape name is Akriloth, King of the Overworld, my WoW name is The Almighty Slayer Warlord, but on IRC I usually go by the name of Eternal Orc Master Draganoth.

Reporter: (looks confused) Ooookaaaay.

Nerd: Pretty cool, huh?

Reporter: And do you have a job?

Nerd: I'm a Professional Computer Master. Yeah... my mom was generous enough to let me use the Underground Lair under the house!

Reporter: You mean your mom's basement?


Reporter: Oh... sorry if I offended you there. So, what do you do in your underground lair?

Nerd: I slay Orcs at the Orc Village in Dorgeshkuun! I go questing with the monks of the Ice Mountain! I duel with the elite of Glielnor in the TzHaar Fight Pits! I slay the Demons in the Pit of Desp-

Reporter: (interrupts) No... I mean what do you do in real life.

Nerd: Oh... I sit at the computer and, y'know... play RuneScape and talk to people on there, and stuff. Oh, and when I'm not doing that, I watch Monty Python and get involved in online arguments over who has the best graphing calculator.

Reporter: Interesting. And, are you in a relationship right now?

Nerd: Why, you want some of this? Because it's bigger than most people think, you know heh heh.

Reporter: Uggh...

Nerd: I'll use my mighty sword IN BED!!

Reporter: I'll take that as a no, then?

Nerd: No, I'm not in a relationship... but I was once married to a Level 103 Warlock Female on World 105.

Reporter: Interesting...

Nerd: Hey, you wanna hear something awesome?

Reporter: Excuse me?

Nerd: OK, here goes... *takes huge breath in* 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510...

Reporter: Umm... what is that number?

Nerd: It's pi. Everyone knows it to at least the first four hundred thousand digits, right?

Reporter: Umm... yeah. Well, I'll be off now then.

Nerd: You go, but you still want some o' this! Oh yeah!

Reporter: Trust me, I really don't.


Reporter puts notebook in pocket, straightens hat and trenchcoat, then proceeds to run away quickly. The nerd goes into the Internet Café where the annual WoW gathering is taking place.