UnNews:UnNews Chief entraps popular news-reader
 |
UnNews Audio (file info) |
| Listen to this story! | |
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope. |
|
 |
This column is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-eyeblink misinformation. And by "misinformation", we mean "the truth." THE MANAGEMENT |
18 May 2010
Members of the audience may be, or may have been, in jobs in which they enjoyed less than the total support of Management. This reporter recently found the following proposal from the Chief in his in-box:
| “ | This morning the thought struck me, that it might be amusing and productive to get a flame war going, one side advocating strictly reality-based UnNews, the other pushing a Bat Fuck, completely off-the-wall agenda. We could fix the fight in favor of the real-seeming news, with the Bat Fuck side slowly devolving into stupid insults and rants, or something like that. Of course, the idea is to elevate the UnNews profile and inspire new articles from new contributors. Your thoughts, please? Cheers! | ” |
My thoughts....Let me get this straight! I am to initiate a flame war, to manufacture internal drama just in case Mordillo thinks we don't have enough of the authentic variety. I am to defend the simple notion that UnNews should be based on news and read like news, and should take slings and arrows from every Attention Whore who is using UnNews simply to get a lot of people to read their latest "wackey" thought, instigated by you, claiming you will let my side win, when we know for a fact you believe UnNews should reflect nothing but what you most recently pulled out of a bodily orifice! And when your instigation is laid bare, you'll simply claim it was to boost traffic to UnNews, as though you were doing gonzo advertising with a Lite-Brite®? This is treachery, pure and simple! Who are you going to get to read the news when they run me out of town on a rail?!
Sources[edit]
|
This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent. |
 |
This article is complete, irredeemable nuke. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, attaches at the gallbladder, and is an unfunny chronic masturbator. If you attempt to spit this, you will most timidly spit Bat Fuck Insane yourself. Or the submitter will spit your nuke!!!!!! |