UnNews:Shit That Pisses Me Off:The Vizio VBR100 Blu-ray player
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This editorial is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-moron misinformation. You can bloody well piss off if you don't like it! THE MANAGEMENT |
8 November 2010
| Columnist: | 
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Ivan Samuel Overreactor |
| Owner, Vizio VBR100 |
First let me begin this column by saying that a few things are changing around here at Shit that Pisses Me Off--
Yeeow! Or should I say, Things That Make Me Angry.
You see, the big suits have decided that we gotta clean up the language around here. So over the weekend, they hire a censor -- big bucks, too. Probably more than I spent on the subject of this article. Please welcome the head of the American Society against Socially Horrific and Offensive Language Ever, Mr. Sean Oliver Bismark.
How this works is, I'm hooked up with wires. Anytime I curse, Mr. Bismark will hit the red button and zap me.
Now the purpose of this article is to express my anger in my Vizio VBR100 Blu-ray player. I recently purchased Back to the Future and the damn thi--
Ow! I mean, darn thing -- won't play. I have gone through hell --
What was that for?
So? Why can't I say it? The word is in the Bible.
As I was saying. I have been having nothing but trouble in updating my firmware. Every da -- darn disc I put in won't play worth shit!
Crap?
Poop?
[Bismark shrugs his shoulders.]
Disc 1 wouldn't play. Then I got a replacement and only the second disc would play! Then it hit me that I may need to update my firmware. Big, big, mistake! I can't get my player to accept any fucking firm--
Uhh... darn. Forni--
You guys are strict mother-- I mean, brothers. No matter how the ISO file is burned to the disc, the SOB -- can I say that? -- will kick it out.
[Brief pause]
This is ridiculous! Who the hell hired --
[Ivan starts ripping out the wires violently]
All I wanted to do was bitch about the firmware problems and ask for a fucking solution, and you treat me like some fucking lab mouse!
That does it. I'm outta here! I'm gonna call Vizio and fucking complain! I'm reporting their asses to the Better Business Bureau! And I'm gonna talk with UnNews about getting you fired.
I said you're getting fired.
Yeah.
Bring it on, old man!
I guess that puts an end to censorship in STPMO articles. So to wrap this article up: Back to the Future is a Blu-ray nightmare for Vizio VBR100 owners whose players won't accept the CD-R firmware discs and/or the ISO file.
Until then, this is ISO signing off! See you in the future, Doc!
Is shit pissing you off? Have a hatchet to grind? If so, simply create a new Shit article, but don't create a new shit article.
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Sources[edit]
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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent. |