UnBooks:My sojourn/Chapter 25
There I was, minding my own business, when I look out the window and see a squad of X-Wings coming straight for us!
The day before[edit]
I was walking down one of those cool looking hallways when I pass a gold Protocol droid and an R2 unit bickering to each other. Whose bright idea was it to let droids be sentient? Anyway, I continue on my way to the Imperial Spa Room, and two Stormtroopers are escorting a Wookie prisoner to the holding cells. Oh! I forgot to say that the awesome (but very, very scary) dark lord of the Sith; Darth Vader had captured that very hot Princess of Alderaan.
Bye-bye Alderaan[edit]
Even though I paid for the 'Death Star Deluxe Experience', I wasn't told about the light show at night... day? morning? I don't know. But after hearing word from a group of mouse droids, I managed to make it to the viewing platform just in time. What they didn't tell me was that it wasn't just ANY light show, but the destruction of Alderaan! Cool!
Escape and duel[edit]
Feeling peckish, I made my way to the cafe where there was all this commotion about how the Princess, a Wookie, a farmer, an old man, and a can of Australian soft-drink were on the Space Station. As we were standing around, the Solo guy came running into our room after chasing a few of the other guests. So we start blastin'.
We get back to the hanger and that old guy I mentioned before was actually a Jedi! So he and Vader are fighting and it is the coolest thing ever! Totally worth the price of 10,000 credits for a two-night stay.
Vader then swings his saber and the old guy just disappears. Not very climatic.
Stupid rebels[edit]
As I was getting ready for the celebration party for killing Obi-Wan Kenobi (who the old guy turned out to be), a bunch of X-Wings come and start blowing shit up! Not cool!
Everybody is getting the escape pods while the TIE pilots are getting to their, well, TIE Fighters.
Lost in space[edit]
So there I am. Inside my pod. I look out and see this one X-Wing shoot a single torpon missile into the heart of the Death Star and it blows up! Like completely gone! Just like Alderaan.
I want a refund.