UnBooks:My Creepy Parents/2

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My alarm goes off. Ugh. Another boring day at school. And it's not even a cool school either. I decide that I'm going to turn it off. I open my eyes.

But Mom had the nerve to move it to a desk on the other side of the room.

Damn it. She's always doing that, trying to get me to "exercise" or whatever. Come on! I already have footlong muscles. Oh well. I get up and walk over to the desk, wearing the creepy pink pajamas that my mom forces me to wear. Doesn't she know I can just sleep in teh nude?

I press the off button and move the clock back to my bedside table, which is filled with condoms anyway. I then take off those horrible pajamas and go back to bed.


Grr... the cereal is soggy again. DAMN IT JULIA YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE MY CEREAL SOGGY!!! I DON'T CARE IF I THREW IT ON THE GROUND, YOU'RE CLEANING IT UP! Goddamn. Hey, wait a sec... Julia, where's <insert name here>? What do you mean, he's not down here? I raised that boy and gave him an education and he doesn't like it??? Well, I'll go up and talk to him, see how he likes it!

Hey there, kiddo. It's time for you to wake up now and go to school. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T LIKE SCHOOL? I SERVED IN FIFTEEN OR SO WARS FOR YOU! NOW DON'T BE MOUTHING OFF TO ME!!!

Ugh... Julia, wake your son up, will you?


Hi there sleepyhead! Will you get out of bed? Ooh, I just made a rhyme! I do it all the time! Ha ha ha... What do you mean this isn't funny? Oh, I see! This isn't UnPoetia! Ha ha, well it makes perfect sense now! By the way, what is UnPoetia?

Time for you to get up now! No, I'm sorry, you have to go to school again today! But don't worry! Once you grow up, you won't have to go to school anymore and you can have lots of fun then! Ha ha ha!

I see you've taken off those pajamas I've made for you. You getting too big for them? Well, you can come on down now! We're having Raisin Bran and watching your favorite TV show: The Smurfs!

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